Thursday, December 6, 2007

My joy will not be stolen!

As can be seen from my 'testimony' post the other day -- I had a great weekend - full of joy, Christmas spirit, the Lord's presence, love, peace, everything..... and as usual, whenever a person is so delighted in the Lord, the devil will come to try to snatch that joy away...

but I totally recognized it for what it was (but not immediately)....I don't know why but I just had a down day yesterday. I started thinking about how we are not where we want to be with our goals and started to get some discouragement.

Then I started getting a little homesick -- a in missing my family and 'home' where I grew up. Most everybody knows that I never thought I'd raise a baby, so far away from my mom, dad, sister, brother, etc. etc.! I always thought we would raise our kids together! So I'm still sort of in shock how my life has played out. I am soo thankful for everything we have been given - and I know I have been extremely blessed - but really, I just miss my family - my side of the family.

I want to be the best wife I can be for Brandon - and I know that Raymond and Brandon are my family now and we will make decisions that are the best for the 3 of us....but I just wish a door would open for us to move to New Jersey. Grandma's house is sitting empty, waiting to go on the market - and I know it's going to be hard for mom to sell that house. I think we all always thought one of us kids would take it. Brandon is soo willing to move to New Jersey --- he, like me, just wants to fulfill his purpose - and he knows these jobs we have now are just temporary. We want to do so much more than any regular or even great job can give us. We are just using these jobs to get our foundation we need - we are searching for open doors into other opportunties!

So my point it....I was discouraged. And you know how negative thoughts work -- once you get one negative thought rolling - you keep getting more and more to support that though. I started thinking about family members on Brandon's side of the family that keep making horrible decisions that we haven't been able to help or encourage, discouraged with lot of different things really....

and I started having these negative, awful thoughts that were dragging me down - trying to get me to get discouraged and doubtful. At first I didn't recognize what they were.....but then when I spoke some of my feelings out loud to Brandon - I felt soo ashamed. We are all negative once in a while - but I am better than letting those negative thoughts crowd into my self talk. So I opened up my Bible for my readings that night....

And as usual, God answered my doubts and discouragement right away, through His Word. He was there to comfort me. Every single passage I had planned to read that night, was exactly what I needed to hear! For example: I was getting all down on myelf for not moving back 'home' to take care of grandma those last years of her life on earth...I opened my Bible and saw on a sidebar:

"We can't go back... we can only go forward into uncharted territory. To sit in our sorrow would lead to misery. Although regret that leads to CHANGE is a dear friend, regret that leads to SHAME is a treacherous ENEMY! So how do we live without allowing regret to rob us of our joy? "and lean not on our own understanding" (Pr 3:5). There is no guarantee that if we had done a part or our lives differently things would end up any different. We have to trust that the God of the universe who directs the outcome of all things, that He will do that which ultimately needs to be done (in spite of us, if necessary)".

Is that not awesome?!?! God can MAKE my decisions right! He can turn anything around for the good. And even when I can't see Him working - He is! He does have something big planned for me/us. That is what faith is all about --- it's believing when it isn't easy ---- believing when you can't see!!

I am so thankful for God's word and for the people who wrote the sidebars in this version of His Word. Thank God for His comfort right when I needed it. My joy is back! :) Devil doesn't have a place in this house or this heart --- so get out if here devil and don't come back.


Elizabeth said...

I'm so amazed by how many times the Bible says "And the Lord was with _______ and ________ prospered." My favorite example of these is Joseph, who was right where God needed him to be at each step in his life, and though it wasn't always fun, God richly blessed Joseph. I try and be the same way, to think and be God's woman however He needs me at that time, wherever I'm living, whatever I'm doing. I know what you mean by being far from family, and it's soooooo hard. But you're living God's plan for your life and in the end I think you'll be richly blessed for it. Some friendly company on that journey sure is nice too, though.

ancient one said...

My first visit, Randi, I came over from Beach Girls blogspot. You have a beautiful blog here and a real testimony for Our Lord.

I love your pictures of your handsome little boy! And I can understand you wanting him to know his cousins and your side of the family. Keep Trusing God!!

I loved your decorations. I laughed to myself about having to place some of the ornaments away from little hands. When my grandchildren were small, I finally got smart enough to put the wooden ornaments on the low branches. LOL

Christmas Blessings To You!!

Sandi said...

Hi Randi, I have had a cold for a week and have been too busy to sit and read blogs. I got your message and thought I would come over to visit a minute. It is interesting how Our Heavenly Father works. Just today I got this in an e-mail:

"THE POWER OF PRAYER. I believe that God only gives three answers to prayer:

1. "Yes!"
2. "Not yet."
3. "I have something better in mind."

God still sits on the throne, the devil is a liar."

And just last night, I had a woman tell me how her prayers had been answered. Her family was reading about paying tithing and they had just paid a full tith for the year and were feeling the pinch when I called to see if they would like to participate in a special Christmas program our Church offers where they could get all of their Christmas for their family at no charge. She just stood there and wept that Heavenly Father had strengthened their testimony of the need to serve, to pay tithing, and be faithful in all things.

Merry Christmas

Heather K said...

Hi Randi...
just stopped in for a quick "HI".
love your Christmas video of Josh G.
just letting it play while I comment....he's got an amazing voice!
Just saw your comment on Candy's blog and remembered that you'd been to my site awhile back and I hadn't here I am :D
Have an awesome CHRISTMAS!!
Will be back to read when I've got some spare time.

Candy-Faith said...

Im glad your feeling better now :) the devil cant keep us down long! :)