I can't stop thinking about this new freedom I feel - freedom from self as Toia says. Freedom from not being so affected or controlled by my situations/ my emotions. I feel for the first time I understand what it's like at least a teeny bit what it means to live by the Spirit. To let Him take over. I thank God for this revelation that He allowed to just totally sink in yesterday. It didn't "sink in" like a wonderful scripture or cliche that you hear and it's like oh wow that's powerful --- instead when I "heard" this revelation after reading that blog yesterday it sunk in so hard it knocked me down and brought me instantaneous tears. I felt this overwhelming just thankfulness. I felt free and NEW. That post yesterday was the last seed of many that God had been planting in me to really understand and realize this Truth.
I didn't even realize the Truth I learned could be called "freedom from self" or being "dead to self". I never really understood those terms - but now I do. I don't feel chained to my flesh so much ...if you know what I mean. I can't express what I feel...it is not a giddiness at all, it's not "happiness" ... it's more just like an eternal peace and freedom that make me look forward to heaven so much but at the same time thank God for allowing me to grow on earth here and have the free will to choose Him. It's almost like the experiences of the flesh make me appreciate so much more the Spirit...ya know? The chains I used to have on me, make me appreciate so much more the fact that my debt is paid the chains are gone, Christ has set me free.
So I thank God for each of you who allowed Him to plant seeds to me through your words and encouragement - I don't want to name names because I read so many blogs that plant such positive seeds - but you know who you are! And that wonderful church drama on Sunday I know also was a way of God speaking directly to me. As the drama cast scenes of persecuted christians - people who were willing to die for Christ.... I realized that although I do not feel I am called to go and be a martyr for my religion or even go and live outside of America --- dying to my flesh, letting Christ be my King is just like these christians who laid down their lives physically for Him. Dying to self is the first step to getting eternal worth.
I am willing to die in self for you, God, the Lord of Lords, King of Kings. I want YOU God to be the # 1 in my life. Self is not # 1. I know my soul is where I get my worth, God, not my flesh. My soul is made in your image and that is where you gave me my worth -- it is what will be eternal. Help me be obedient to the Gospel and help me continually walk with you and fellowship with you because I know without doing these things, my soul has no worth -- therefore I have no worth. Help me put you first, help me make YOU my King, others second and me third. Please continue to restore my soul God and put a hedge of protection around me as I start this process of deliberately dying to self. I know I will be challenged on this and I know I'm just taking the first baby steps in doing this -- but I am willing to start this journey.
Thank you God for all these seeds you have been planting! Thank you for the sunshine on my face right now as I smile up at you and thank you SO much for the Holy Spirit, His comfort and guidance and reassurance. Please help me continue to have the discipline needed to set aside time for you and to humble myself before you daily!
6For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with,[a] that we should no longer be slaves to sin— Romans 6:6
20I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me Galatians 2:20