Nurturing a Quiet Soul
by Jon Walker
But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. Psalm 131:2 (NIV)
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My older sister, Lori Hensley, a very serious prayer warrior, once taught me to meditate on Psalm 131 to help me move toward God’s peace that passes all understanding:
We keep our hearts humble. This doesn’t mean we have a low opinion of ourselves. A humble heart means we know our position in Christ, and so we stop being responsible for the things of which we were never responsible. This frees us to live like God intended and allows us to make uncluttered choices that will move us closer to God.
We show the maturity of a weaned child. The nursing child demands attention now, but the weaned child trusts and is content to wait. We quietly center ourselves on God, peacefully, without agitation and anxiety, and trust God is actively supporting us.
We hope in the Lord with confident expectation. Truth says God will answer our prayers; he will respond to our needs; he will pave the path before us now and forever (Psalm 18:36).
I often find myself acting like an infant, a child of God not yet weaned. I want what *I* want.... and I want it NOW. and I'm not talking about material wants. I'm talking about spiritual wants. The plans I have for my life. I want to be used a certain way by Him... in a certain time. I want my skills to be used NOW rather than later. I want to make a difference in this certain place, at this certain time....
I know He has put dreams in my heart for a reason --- but there's a real problem when that dream becomes my focus. Why can't I learn this lesson? Why every few months do I have a post like this? I need to really and truly get over this cycle. I notice the pattern every time - I begin to see how others are used, I begin to look at other's ministries and see how they are doing things.... even though my heart tells me, "comparison is the root of all inferiority" --- I do lose focus and look at those around me. I begin to feel like *I* am ready for something to happen, that I'm SO ready to be used in a certain way... that I must just not be pushing hard enough.... so I start trying to take matters into my own hands instead of recognizing that my job is to trust, to wait, to be still and know that HE is God and I am not. Yes, there are times we must push forward, take leaps of faith, and take action to move closer --- but He will show us when those times are upon us. He does not want me to have anxiety or worry over missing any boat. He doesn't want me to fear disappointing Him.
Bottom line is that if I am with Him - then He will take me where I'm supposed to go. If He is in me and I am in Him, then obviously there is no possible way His plans for me will not be fulfilled.
I should focus a lot more on being with Him, on allowing Him to live in me.... then trying to DO for Him.
He again is reminding me of this lesson. I am so glad He reminds me of these lessons now to protect me from hurt later. I want so badly to learn this lesson now.... for if I don't --- one day I will wake up and realize that in all my desire & action & constant striving to DO for Him... I totally missed out on being with Him.
God please show me when to be Mary Randi and when to be Martha Randi. Please God help me learn this lesson once and for all to my core. Soothe my worries, cover my concerns with your assurance that YOU have the plans and I don't need to (Jer 29:11).... don't allow my personality weaknesses to get in the way of my personality strengths.
Help me God in my walk with you. Help me to grow up and out of his newborn stage of worry, impatience, discouragement. Help me to have discipline to have time of solitude with you daily. Remind me again how to "just be" with you. I love you father God. I know that you are telling me that if I want to move forward --- it's time to take some steps back from life and run to you. Help me have confident expectation in your plans for me God. Help me be content to wait...