Last Sunday at CrossWinds -- God touched me in such a powerful way. Truly. It was one of those days that He changed me so much that I will never be the same. The worship through music was so powerful as our new worship pastor Scott lead us. but that was just the beginning.
As I touched on in my last post --- I had been reflecting on just how HUGE God is. A presentation I saw about the universe - and all we can see with current telescopes really was a catalyst for my reflection on WOW!! God is so much way bigger than my mind can grasp at ALL. He's an eternal God - a never ending God. He's just... big. Like RIDICULOUSLY way bigger than I could ever fathom. I don't even have words. But then I started thinking --- wow why for so long did I treat Him like a good friend that lives down the road? This God is the ONe and only GOD that created the UNIVERSE! much less our little earth. Much less our little country. Much less little old ME. I thought WOW is it true!? The same one and only God that I talk to, listen to, and praise is this same God that is so HUGE?
I kept asking --- Jesus is that really you? The one and the same who I have known and talked to since I was a little girl? God I just would love to be re-assured that the same God, Creator of the UNIVERSE is the One and Only God, precious Jesus, that I walk with daily and the One who loves me beyond measure!? God will you show me in a personal and intimate way that you are a personal and intimate God too!?
And God answered. I can't even talk about it without tears falling. Throughout the entire sermon I just balled - which isn't that unusual - but this was a cry that was simply because the presence of the Spirit was that overwhelming. Through some words of Pastor Chris's... God spoke directly to me.
I had been asking God 2 specific questions. I had been asking Him to please give me a phrase for what I had been trying to express the past years. It was a specific phrase about a specific situation.... and He answered so clearly - I knew that God meant that just for me.
I had also been asking for Him to validate what He had been doing in me and teaching me - to know if it was truly from Him. And He answered. He validated me and continued to throughout the day. He reassured me, though He doesn't have to. He encouraged me, built me up, and gave me that blessed assurance that YES He was the one who had been pouring into me. He never owes me any explanations or validation --- yet He does give me reassurance when I need it.
He answers me. Not always how I want. Not always in my timing. But He does. What an intimate & personal God -- YET SO HUGE!
GOD I am nothing in comparison to you! Yet you CARE. You, the God of the universe, care so much to have a personal & intimate relationship with ME. You pulled me from the depths of the deepest oceans of sin & brokenness and sent your only son to bear the burden of that ocean for ME. There are no words to give you enough THANKS and PRAISE. I am in awe.
God help me live for you. God USE ME to help others know you like I do. God help me be a fool for you!
God HELP ME be a fool in the world's eyes! A fool radically crazy for YOU. Pastor Chris challenged our devotion --- and I know what you were asking of me specifically and what the next step was.
You are telling me that to be DEVOTED to you the way you desire will look wasteful & foolish to the world! Just as the lady in Matthew 26 did with pouring expensive perfume over your feet God --- help me POUR OUT in immense radical measures my time & resources (which are actually YOURS anyway) for you.
What a "waste" of time to spend so much time in "solitude" talking and listening, praising & adoring, thanking a God I can't see, hear or touch in the flesh. but God I know that is what you are asking of me right now --- God help me pour it out to you!
You showed extravagent love to us in making it possible for us to be reconciled to you, the God of this universe. Let us show you Radical Devotion! Even if to the world it looks like overboard extravagent "waste"!
Extravagent love. Radical devotion. Extravagent "waste".