Thursday, September 24, 2015

The Urgency Paradox

I really do feel such an urgency!  After a temporary “taking away” this past year - my body, brain & speech have been returned to me!  Now, I want to do all I can to proclaim Jesus’ name in action & words.  I want to appreciate what I’ve been given and do my best to use my body to serve, my brain to soak up God’s Word and time with Him so I can understand Him and His plan more, and my mouth to tell others what He has shown me and done for me.  I have been more outspoken the past few weeks than I have in a long time.  I do feel an urgency.  We don't know how long we are given, we have to seize the day.    I believe the time for the Church to rise up is NOW.  

But the urgency creates a tension.  When I ask the Lord about this tension, I sense confirmation that yes there *is* an urgency….but then the paradox enters and it feels like the familiar gift that God notoriously gives.   The radical paradox.   It’s like He is saying, “yes my child yes, there’s an urgency.   An urgency to follow me.  To obey completely what I’ve called you to do today”.     

“Ok Father” I cry out with tears in my eyes… “I hear you clearly.   There’s an urgency yes.  There’s an urgency…. to slow down”.  The paradox. 

Success is obedience.  Obedience is following.  Following is trusting.  Trusting is waiting. 

With my tendency to rush ahead & be impulsive, I am shocked that He has shown me all He has in His Word about the Church, about His plan about His kingdom.  He really thinks I can hold all this in and transform it into quiet service in my home!?    Well, He does enjoy doing the impossible.  

God help me have an urgency… to slow down and serve.   God help me have an urgency to give you my minutes.    Help me have an urgency to WAIT on you Lord and have faith for what I believe you can do from these quiet corners of my home and heart.

I am still very aware at how little I know…. I feel often that I know nothing at all……

but yet I KNOW…

I know that…
More of our babies are being killed every day while the people stand by having only “choice” to say. 

I know that…
Millions without clean water are dying while millions burdened with “stuff” simply keep dining.   

I know that… 
Lights camera action on goes the show while the poor and orphans it’s to the government they must go.

Jesus’ plan to provide relief hope and answers to the world is to work through His Body.  Please Lord let the Church shine again!  I love the Church so much God.  Please God free her!  Let it start with me.  I can’t be the Body Lord but I can be the hands.  Lord help me be your hands.

OH to truly BE the hands of Jesus.  It’s incredible to think of Jesus’ physical literal hands that He had on earth and that He still has now!  

Let me be His hands on earth just like His hands in heaven. 

Hands are amazingly strong and yet one of the weakest and most vulnerable parts of the Body.  His hands are wounded forever, yet healed.  Power-full yet gentle.  Hands accomplish much earthly good – but are always part of the Body that is focused on heavenly purposes.  They were created to benefit others and glorify the Lord.   The most impact-full work of the hands is probably not when they are lifted in praise but when they are reaching out to others – although both can be beautiful to the Lord.  Much of the hands work is mundane and tedious.  His hands touched and washed the unclean, dirty and lowest parts of His people literally and figuratively.  

Oh if only more were willing to be your hands Lord Jesus!   Let it start with me Lord. When I feel the urgency to preach Lord…. Help me preach to myself to be urgent to be your hands. God help me have an urgency to BE with you as your hands go wherever you are.

I long to be with you so much King Jesus.  I long to see you getting the honor & praise you deserve.  I long to see suffering end.  I long to see your True Church arise and turn from all that has enslaved her.  Help me take this spiritual focus and spiritual mindset you have given me and use it for fuel to do my earthly work.  I know this isn't my home. I am home sick - yet I have work to do. 

Monday, September 21, 2015

The Church's Pre-Occupation with Marriage

I often hold back on my views about Christ's Bride and what He has shown the Rooks Family because I never want to discourage others and I want to be absolutely sure that my motive is pure.     However, the Lord has put in me an urgency to not hold back due to fear or procrastination.   Last year through my Lyme and other physical ailments, He allowed my ability to think, read and even speak clearly to be "taken away".   Now that I'm getting my brain and passion back - I feel an urgency (I pray it's never an impulsiveness) to use my brain and ability to share for His glory!  An urgency to tell others about King Jesus, God Himself,  that is the center of all history and is coming back!

For the past 8 years, Jesus and His Church have been constants in my thoughts and discussions.  I love Jesus so I love His Church!  The Church is His dwelling place. His family. His temple. His people.  His Bride.   I see what God is doing - what He is always doing - wooing the true Church to turn back to Him and get back to the basics of worshiping Him alone.

The Church is meant to be under the reign of the King.  Not under the reign of money, buildings, power, culture,  popularity, entertainment or cultural definitions of "success" (numbers).   We are a free people who willingly choose to be slaves to Righteousness Himself and only Him.  We can not let any yoke of slavery be put back on us!   We can not let anything else drive us but Him!

When I think about the modern church's pre-occupation with marriage, it really convicts me.    We really are pre-occupied.  Pre-occupied with defining it (both groups on both sides of the "definition debate" are pre occupied) and we are pre-occupied with being astonished at the impurity in it.  We are also pre-occupied with trying to "fix" in our own strength all that is wrong in marriage today (fixing it with endless amounts of self help books, retreats seminars, groups, and conventions).     I believe it is true that we do only hate in others what we see in ourselves.   Our hatred toward the state of marriage today is a perfect example of this truth.

Wake up, Church!  We have been an example of adultery & impurity in our "marriage" long before anything we see in our surrounding culture today.

If we want to change the state of marriage, we must change the state of our own first!   I am not referring to our own personal marriages.  I am referring to our part in the marriage between Christ & His Bride.

I read in Romans this morning:

     24 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, 25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.   1:24-25

The Church in America has committed adultery against our first love - Jesus.   We have exchanged truth for lies and we have worshiped and served things rather than the Creator!    Because of this, God has given the Church over to what it has desired:   human leadership and hierarchies, organization, power systems, money, entertainment and self focused religion.  

You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. Matthew 5:13

If the salt has lost its saltiness --- why are we shocked at the decay around us!?   Salt stops decay.  Why in the world would we expect people in our culture to understand the purity and divinity in marriage if we ourselves have not stayed committed and pure in our adoration and relationship with our betrothed!?

Marriage on earth is supposed to be a reflection of the marriage between Christ & His Church ---- and in our country that is exactly what it is!   But Jesus won't allow this to continue forever!  He will restore the marriage!

Church, we must turn our eyes and pointing fingers off of others and our culture - and look within. Trust Him to do His work!

I long for His true Church to repent - starting with ME - of all things that we have allowed to come between us and our first love.

I pray for the Church to once again become pre-occupied with Christ!  I long for all in His Church to repent, fall on His grace and trust in HIS ability to transform self, our personal marriages,  the Church & *then* the surrounding culture through the Church.

Through struggle & hard times ahead  even being "trampled under people's feet"  I know Jesus will cleanse His Church.   His people will emerge and their saltiness will be restored!

King Jesus is so worthy of ALL our love & adoration.  He is the one and only King coming back!  I trust the true Bride will be ready for Him!

Friday, March 13, 2015

Depending on God, not My Brain

Since I had the shingles last March, I've been stripped of my brain.  I can't think like I want to.  I can not study like I used to.  I can't remember much of anything.  It's hard to process and think.   As I was sitting here TRYING to reflect over the past year.... I realized that what I've been going through has really been an answer to prayer.

Anybody who knows me (or has read any of my way too long blog posts lol) knows how much I LOVE knowledge and words.  I used to type and write SO much.  I had a pretty elaborate system.  I used to memorize scripture like crazy and really have always just enjoyed learning and studying so much.   So much so that in many seasons it just wasn't healthy.  Looking back, I remember now that I did pray for God to help me get over my obsession with knowledge and my studying.  In my Spirit I knew I needed a better balance.

I believe I will be healed from what I'm suffering from.  I believe the PA is right and it's simply that the virus last March never left and that when I fully get that virus back "under" I will feel like myself again...... but, I also have accepted that whatever happens is okay.  In my heart I can truly say "it is well".  It is okay.    This IS hard.   But I trust God.  I feel really stripped but I know I am God's. I want Him to strip what needs stripping and build up what needs building.  I want Him to define me.  I want Him to tell me who I am and how He wants to use me.

The truth is, this past year, I have been having a really hard time connecting to God apart from the religious activity I had set up in my life.  This past month, I finally feel like I'm beginning to connect and live by His Spirit again but it's been a dry year.   When I left the institutional Sunday church in 2010... I felt like God used that year to strip me of my dependence on "feelings" and emotional connections (and many other things!!!).    This year has felt so similiar and I feel like I'm now being stripped of even more religious activity I had in my life - religious Spirit that I didn't even know I had.   The "religion" I had  set up I guess was pretty much just self focused. I have always depended on my studies my notes my ability to understand (and know everything... ouch)   more than just depending on God Himself.

So I need to speak some TRUTH to myself:
God's love for me is not dependent on knowledge.   God's love for me is based on Him and HIS knowledge of me.
God's love for me is not dependent on my religious activity.
God desires me to forego all man-made and RandiJo-made religions and understand HE came to me.... so I can stop trying to get to Him.
Lie: I am only "okay" and "good enough" when I'm meeting my own "good christian" expectations.
Truth:  I am secure.  I am held.  Redeemed, empowered, cherished - because of what HE did, not what I do, did or will do. 

I am His not because I study about Him.... but because I truly do KNOW Him.  I have experienced Him!  I really have.  I know His love so deeply and no matter what else is taken away.... I know my Spirit is eternal and will be His forever.   This is where FAITH comes in.  and He is the one that will always keep my faith strong.  HE is the author & perfecter of my faith.

Knowledge is always secondary to love and I have His love in my heart, for eternity.

Perhaps the last year has been necessary for me to practice WALKING OUT life and love with Him instead of just KNOWing and writing about it all.   I can love and live because His Spirit is in me and HE really IS all I *need*.  He will lead me and I can count on Him much more than my own brain or anything "strong" about me.   All of "this" body and earth will fail me fully someday.  But God's Spirit will lead me in HIS plan (if not mine).  He will lead me now and then someday usher me into eternity.  He will lead me whether I am sharp and have a good argument and theological explanation for everything I confront.... or if I don't.   He will lead me with His Spirit, through others, through His Word at just the right time.  I may not be able to RETAIN the Word...but if I just keep opening it and taking in as much as is possible!

I have to give up my own plans and agenda and how *I* want to be used and continue daily to just "ride the wave" and surrender my life to Him.  I have to stop wrestling Him and fighting His plan.  I have to TRUST that however He wants to use me.... He will equip me and I can stop trying so hard to equip myself and be used how I want.

Knowledge puffs up... but LOVE builds up.  and if this is what it takes to help me truly LOVE more and understand His UNCONDITIONAL LOVE... I accept what He is doing.  It is so hard to be stripped of what I felt were my strengths but I trust God and I am honored to know that He has chosen me to suffer in this way.  I believe that He will use all things for my good & His glory. Off to ride the wave.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Sacrificing Community, Settling for Connection

Sometimes we have to let go of the good - to embrace the great God has prepared for us. We have to obey when we don't understand.  I think that we often miss God's best for us because we refuse to let go of the "good" things that we see we can do right *now*.

We all sacrifice so many great things because we don't have faith to let go of the good. We don't trust how GREAT the GREAT is gonna be.  Sometimes, we sacrifice the great because we want things NOW and we think, "well I will just take THIS that I see right now because at least the good I see I can have right NOW is immediate, I don't have to wait - and it's a SURE thing". We just have little faith & settle mentalities. What does this have to do with anything??? Well I continually go through ups & downs with Facebook and recently I have felt God leading me away from it again.  It makes sense when God asks me to step away because I'm wasting time, but it's harder to accept when God asks me to step away and I'm actually doing lots of good activities on there.   I can't believe how difficult it is to let go of "good" sometimes.  But it made me think about how much we all do this...

We sacrifice unconditional love and we settle for attention & affirmation.  We refuse to give the most time & focus to the One who loves without condition.

We sacrifice acceptance and we settle for approval.   We keep our eyes' locked on others' eyes watching us, instead of keeping our eyes' locked on the One Who Sees Us.

We sacrifice significance and being who God designed us to be and we settle for popularity.  We let numbers & worldly measures determine our decisions & how we are doing.

And the conclusion God has brought me to this week is that....we sacrifice true community because we settle for "connection".   

Facebook is not the issue.  Please let me remove the excuses for all of us that are blamers.  Facebook is not inherently evil nor inherently bad - it's just like money.  It takes on the condition of whoever possess it - it can be used for good or evil.  Facebook is not the issue.  Self is the issue.  

Self gets addicted to Facebook because self is full of pride, laziness, coveting, selfishness, lustful conditions. Self is the issue.  And we all know that issues are multiplied and magnified 100 x on media (social or not).  
So it should be quite clear for all of us to see - Facebook addiction is an issue. 

I see this issue now for what it really is.  

Facebook addiction is to community what porn is to marriage.   

Porn is an easy substitute for true intimacy, that takes time, effort & work.  True intimacy takes a lot of *giving* -- not just taking!  Porn is selfish.  Porn is a counterfeit relationship. Facebook addiction is an easy substitute for true intimacy.  Facebook addiction is selfish.   Facebook addiction maintains an entire neighborhood of counterfeit relationships.  

On Facebook, all the images and updates, just like porn,  are addictive.  It's an easy fix to get quick conversation.  Quick feedback, quick affirmation.  Our facebook activity quickly can take a nasty turn from admiring people, being inspired by people ---- into outright sin.  Coveting & lusting over what other people have - even good things.  We covet others' success in ministry that they SEEM to have, quality friendships they SEEM to have, quality family life they SEEM to have.

Coveting, lusting, desiring immediate affirmation when we want it - all addictive, all sinful.  

Those are all negative aspects of Facebook over-use --- but even if we ONLY ever did GOOD things on Facebook - the truth is that when we become addicted, we are sacrificing community because we are settling for connection.   We are settling for connection because we either do not know HOW to do the hard work to form quality relationships - or we are not willing to do the hard work.  

How easy is it to connect on Facebook?  I don't care who you are, you can find a group that is for you on Facebook.  Moms? there's a group for you! Homeschoolers: Group!  Any school: group!  Looking for people who bird watch in your city?  I am sure you can find them on FBook!   Love to do yoga with your dog as you SUP?  There's probably a group for that too!

Connection is a good thing.  Facebook is a great way to get connected. 

But connection is not enough.  What we all truly desire is community, isn't it???

Unfortunately, when you sacrifice community - you are also sacrificing the practice of being in community.  Facebook addiction actually cripples us from being able to be an actual friend who knows how to love the unloveable.  A friend that is patient and gracious.  A friend that is willing to go through the messiness of real, true life.  A friend that is willing to hurt each other, annoy each other, forgive and still be friends.

How EASY is it to have a friend on Facebook!?!  OMGoodness I LOOOOVE everybody on Facebook. It's so easy to love on them - send them nice words that barely take any time or thought.   I mean I seriously feel total total love *feelings* for my Facebook friends.  I think they are gorgeous, I think their kids are gorgeous, I think they are funny, sweet, encouraging and they are seriously easy to love.

Enter real life.

Omgoodness they are not that funny when they can't go back & edit their joke.   They are actually kind of rude.   And it's actually really hard to figure out what they are TRYING to say in their words.   They aren't that sweet when we have been around each other too long and the kids are tired & we are tired & we are not in the comfort of our worn out stained computer chair & sunflower seed embedded keyboard.  They are not always encouraging and smiley and happy and sending me nice messages.  Instead, friends are often very selfish because the reality is.... it's hard to control our public image in REAL life..... and the truth is that REAL people are hard to love.   We are ALL very unloveable very often!!!    And it takes WORK to communicate and use words & think before we speak and be patient & gracious when people and OPK (other people's kids) are up in our stuff.

Here's my point.  I need a new rhythm in my relationships.   Forget "balance".  Ugh, I don't want to ever say the word balance ever again in my life.  Balance is a daunting word -  it's like "potential" - I've always disliked that word, too.   Balance is an illusion.  We won't ever have balance - different seasons throw us off, in different periods of time certain things DO need more attention and we will be off "balance" for an extended period.   Ew, forget balance - we just need rhythm.  We just gotta make sure we are dancing to the song of the season as best we can.... and are listening to the music the Creator is putting on for us.  When it's time to shift and slow down, we have to and when it's time to get going, we gotta move & shake it!   I'm aiming for a good rhythm in my days & in my years.

The rhythm that *I* need right now and the dance *I* am dancing is way different than yours.  Every heart is so different in fact that I can't tell you what you are addicted to and where you are off rhythm.  We have different music playing, my friends - so don't follow me.   Just follow my desire to want to dance in step with my King and to stop jumping on everybody's toes so much because I'm way off the beat.

Here's a dance step I'm adding in effective immediately.  Facebook is now going to be treated for what it is - a place to connect with friends & acquaintances.
Facebook is not my spouse that is my priority over all earthly relationships.
Facebook is not my child that I need to tend to and check in on every 5 minutes -Can I get an amen, seriously!?
Facebook is the coffee house, bar or park (if you're a Mommy like me) where you visit once a week maybe twice a week to catch up with friends & check in with people.  To see what's going on around town - and even meet a new friend or two.

Facebook is a good place to connect.   I really feel I do good things on Facebook.  I am inspired by ministry friends. I pass on love.  I monitor groups to make sure they are welcoming, kind places to connect.  I help connect people to each other & to resources they could use.  I encourage mommies.  I check in with friends.  I am encouraged by others.  I learn about every horrendous crime that happened last night & what color I would be if I was a color - oh wait - those are not that good.

But I AM willing to give up good things *when God asks me to* - because I know God has great plans in place for my life.    Sadly, I will go through a detox phase and things will get worse before they get better.  It is really hard to let go of good things - but I know the GREAT will be worth it!!

I hope I can encourage somebody else - get into real life relationship.  Do not sacrifice community for connection.   Be willing to do the HARD WORK of pouring into quality relationships.

Facebook addiction makes you feel more lonely - so lonely that it may seem impossible to give up this place of GOOD connection.    But to get to a place of quality relationships, you have to be willing to feel the pain of facing reality!   It's going to be really really hard to detox from Facebook again.  I've gone without it for 7 months before so I know I can do this new rhythm and put Facebook in its proper place - but it's hard!  It makes me face the reality of how messed up my time management has gotten and it makes me face the reality of how little time I've given to real in life connection, again.   My rhythm is out of whack, people!!  Sorry for all of you whose toes I've stepped on as I danced all crazy.  Sorry to those that I've left on the regular life dance floor as I ran to the Facebook dance floor. My concern now is -  is there ANYBODY left on the real life dance floor!? How long until somebody will join me!?

The world needs more people willing to go through the hard of life.  Facing the reality that life is not about feelings and we don't always get the attention, connection we want.   Facing the reality that less about me GETTING and more about me GIVING.   Facing the reality that *everything* in life worth having takes HARD WORK & intention & effort & focus.   The reality that love is HARD to do.

The world needs more people willing to do hard work, not indulge in easy fixes.  More people that are willing to get into close relationships and not always choose the comfort that loving from a distance provides.  Real life communication & investing in others is hard work.

Facebook addiction makes you more SELF-conscious because you are more others-focused. 
Focused on how others see you.  Focused on what others have.  Focused on what others are doing. Focused on other people's rhythm in their life.  Focused on what others' *pictures* look like. Focused on a projected image - NOT reality. 

The world needs more people who are loving-others-conscious because they are Jesus-focused.  

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

I am a cleansed leper!!!

Our Lord - He just won't stop!  His love won't stop and His transforming hand won't let go of me. Every week I see it more and more - He is *always* at work!  He is continually wooing us to new depths of renewal and healing & love.   Interacting with Him & His Word always brings change.  We are so undeserving and He is so *lavish* in His love & mercy.   What a glimpse of heaven we experience every time we come into contact with His audacious grace

This week we discussed Jesus healing the leper.   I have heard this story so many times but this time, it sunk in!  The Word is alive & active - I am experiencing it!

Four  "small" verses in the 8th Chapter of Matthew:

When Jesus came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.”   Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!”Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy. Then Jesus said to him, “See that you don’t tell anyone. But go, show yourself to the priest and offer the gift Moses commanded, as a testimony to them.”

As I studied this, the Holy Spirit kept nudging me,  "there is something very important about this. keep your eyes & heart wide open here. pay attention here!"

What He pointed me to first was simply the amazing COMPASSION that the Lord Jesus had to tell the leper "to go to the priest and offer the gift Moses commanded" (4).

Imagine all the memories this leper had stored in his mind up until this point.  Memories of walking through that town and having to shout, "unclean" so people could scatter and not come in contact with him.  Many in his culture believed that leprosy was only put on people as punishment from God for sins such as pride or greed so imagine the shame & rejection he must have felt.   Along with the shame & rejection, I sympathize with him as his mind & heart were probably flooded with painful memories of isolation, inferiority and uncleanliness.   How gracious is our Lord Jesus to send him back through that town, now clean!?  I can picture that leper walking through the town - now cleansed - no longer a leper - to go to the priest.  Redemption!!!

The truth is - that leper - even though he was no cleansed - still probably had a heart &  head full of leprosy.  It wasn't enough to be cleansed... He had to *believe* he was no longer a leper!   Jesus gave him the literal, physical healing but His lavish grace did not stop there.  He spoke truth into Him, "be clean!"  Believe.  Live it.  BE clean.  Don't cling to your leprosy. Believe what just happened.

Then, the Lord helped Him *live* it out.  The Lord commanded him to go through the town to redeem all those painful memories.  He might not have let those memories be erased completely.. so that this leper would never lose his compassion for others who are struggling under their uncleanliness..... but He separated the leper from those memories.  He gave him fresh memories - He covered over those old memories - of walking through town - now cleansed!! To go show the priests & be a testimony to them of the Lord Jesus's lavish grace.

Praise the Lord!! I hear you Jesus.  Be clean!  I am clean!

Believe!  You will become what you believe about yourself.  What do you believe about yourself?  Be transformed by the renewal of your mind. 

As I sat in my closet one morning after this beautiful encounter with Jesus --- after a long 2 weeks of saying goodbye to Lennox (our doggie), sick kids, sick mommy, Daddy not available until 9pm every night,  fatigue, emotional & mental battles, and the average daily struggles with germs & routines & work & parenting & marriage & friendships....I was struggling.   In my vulnerable moments the past 2 weeks, the enemy was pulling hard on the biggest stronghold he has had in my life - this guilt over my imperfections & mistakes. (see previous post  Perfectionism )  Specifically, things I had done wrong with my first child when he was a baby and toddler, the same old thoughts that creep up every time I'm on a trip into guilt land.  I was a mess.  I go through this ALL the time?  Continually asking myself - why am I so weak in this area, Lord?  SO MANY of my blogs are about this cycle of pride/discouragement....or pride/guilt.....highs and lows.  I am ready to be freed from this stronghold!!!  If you are willing, please Lord, help me!!

As I cried out to Him, He brought to mind that lesson of the leper.... and I realized I had wandered away from Him because I had lost sight of focusing on how He sees me.   Remember, Randi... believe.  Become what you believe about yourself.  Do you believe what I believe about you!? Do you see yourself as I see you!?  Or are you still believing you are the leper, who you were before?  

So I looked back at my list of "I am"s (Put Off, Put On)  that hang in my closet and I looked for the one I thought He was speaking to me. The 3rd caught my eye - "forgiven" - which had Hebrews 9:14 listed next to it.

My heart about exploded when I read what verses the Lord had taken me to:

11 But when Christ came as high priest of the good things that are now already here, he went through the greater and more perfect tabernacle that is not made with human hands,that is to say, is not a part of this creation. 12 He did not enter by means of the blood of goats and calves; but he entered the Most Holy Place once for all by his own blood, thus obtaining eternal redemption. 13 The blood of goats and bulls and the ashes of a heifersprinkled on those who are ceremonially unclean sanctify them so that they are outwardly clean. 14 How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, *cleanse our consciences* from acts that lead to death,[c]so that we may serve the living God!

Hebrews 9:11-14

Yes Yes Yes!!!  I just felt my David pick up that stone and slay that giant in my heart & mind!!   He wants to battle for us!

His WORD is so POWER full!

You see - I can speak to myself forever, "don't feel guilty.  it's okay.  You confessed so He forgives you. He loves you"..... but there was no POWER in my words to myself.   Those words were not powerful because His truth had not sunk into my heart yet.

but I know it now -  He has forever stamped this truth on my heart!   I now have, forever - these powerful WORDS to use every.single.time I feel myself struggling with guilt over things I know I have confessed & asked forgiveness for.  He has given me practical help to be cleansed of this perfectionism and this cycle of guilt.

He has CLEANSED this leper not only from the penalty of sin but from this guilty, shameful conscience.   I am not a leper any longer.  I do not have to cling to all these painful memories I had when I was.

I do not have to punish myself any longer for any mistakes I've made - because He paid the FULL punishment.

I praise Jesus - my friend, my fighter, my giant-slayer, this healer & power-full Lord!!

Jesus paid it ALL.

  1. I hear the Savior say,
    “Thy strength indeed is small;
    Child of weakness, watch and pray,
    Find in Me thine all in all.”
    • Refrain:
      Jesus paid it all,
      All to Him I owe;
      Sin had left a crimson stain,
      He washed it white as snow.
  2. For nothing good have I
    Whereby Thy grace to claim;
    I’ll wash my garments white
    In the blood of Calv’ry’s Lamb.
  3. And now complete in Him,
    My robe, His righteousness,
    Close sheltered ’neath His side,
    I am divinely blest.
  4. Lord, now indeed I find
    Thy pow’r, and Thine alone,
    Can change the leper’s spots
    And melt the heart of stone.
  5. When from my dying bed
    My ransomed soul shall rise,
    “Jesus died my soul to save,”
    Shall rend the vaulted skies.
  6. And when before the throne
    I stand in Him complete,
    I’ll lay my trophies down,
    All down at Jesus’ feet.