Why I Abominate the Prosperity Gospel - John Piper

The Potter & The Clay

Yay!! :) A writing season again! :) Glad to be back.

My husband taught a wonderful message the other week with the gradeschool kids that God continues to use in my life.

The lesson was based on, O Lord you are the Father. We are the clay and you are the potter. We are the work of your hands Isaiah 64:8

I have soo much I could write about this lesson - but the only thought I want to write about now is what God spoke to me about the verse last night. So often we hear this theme of "striving" to be more christlike. "Try our best".... "strive to be more like Him" and so on and really I believe it presents the wrong picture about what the christian life is about. I agree that we need to work out our salvation with fear and trembling (Phil 2:12) but I don't think the "work" is anything that we can contribute other than our submission. The work is obedience. The work is *abiding*. HIS work will be done in us, our work is to listen, conform and allow the Potter to mold and shape and define what we are to be.

Our value is not in our end use as a vase or bowl or cup. Our value is in being the clay. Knowing we are being molded (together!) as His beautiful Bride to present to Himself perfect and without blemish. (Check out Ephesians 5:22-27 about the role of the church, us, His Bride to support this point even more).

The value is in the process and in who is making us. If a vase in the process of being made kept trying to "help" the potter by trying harder, trying even with good intentions to work itself into what it feels it should look like..... the truth is, that vase will just get in the way of the Potter's work. Imagine a potter trying to create a beautiful piece of work that kept working and moving on its own. The vase finds its value in submitting to the Potter's touch and learning to shift and obey only when the Holy Spirit, the Potter's fingers, in a way, leads and says to. All the praise and glory and honor goes to the Potter.

From Eternity To Here - Book Review

I really enjoyed and was challenged by From Eternity to Here by Frank Viola. It was the first book I had read by Mr. Viola so I had quite a few questions on general ideas that were briefly mentioned (such as what does "organized religion" really mean? if it's bad - what makes it bad? and when did it become bad? when did it start? It didn't start with Jesus' followers in the early church? what went wrong and when?). I'm sure many who read writings from him and similiar authers don't come with those questions so it would make even more sense to them - but despite being naive to many of those terms and topics, I could still understand and readily receive the ideas presented and though I don't agree with everything written (obviously) I loved the book and it really fit well with my Spirit - very challenging and truthful.

I would go so far to say this book was a direct answer to prayer. Even if you go to back to my blog entry on June 18th you can see that what I was going through was directly answered by God to me through Desiring God by Piper and this book. I was going through this phase where I "got" that everything was supposed to be God-focused and somehow "we" were all us-focused/individual-focused... I knew that. But then as the devil does - he planted seeds in there as I tried to let Jesus help me be God-focused and I started doubting I was loveable at all. If the only thing good is God then what am I worth? I was feeling unworthy, empty, not worth being saved or receiving His love.... this book brought me back again to the gospel message and help me find that middle ground of understanding my worthiness as part of His creation and part of His ultimate God-glorifying purpose & mission.... yet it never denied my brokenness and it took away my self-focus and individualistic tendencies at the same time!! The problem before was that I didn't get the bigger picture and what I was apart of. Thank you God for all these beautiful lessons and reminders and reassurances of your love!! :)

I don't know enough theology to debate much of his stances on scripture.... I haven't read enough books to know if these ideas presented or new or not..... but they were new to me! I am simply reviewing this book from a standpoint of a lover of God & people who is allowing God to use her to exemplify how to live in community in love with God and others. I am simply a young passionate woman who has known Jesus since I was little but never allowed myself to truly be set free and filled with the Holy Spirit until a few years ago. Since that time of submission to Him (finally) in 2007 - the growth of Him in me has changed so much. I have so many questions, struggles, passionate pleas to Him full of doubt and questions but everything in me is completely convinced that He is the solution to everything and an all satisfying God that I want to partake in for eternity. Now on to the book review......

The book is a compiling of 3 distinct 'volumes'. The Bride of Christ. The House of God. The family of God and the Body of Christ. Reading about God's central purpose which is all 3 of these combined, was very powerful to me and it really helped unbridle my passion to be part of all these things.

Through it, I really felt God helping me take steps to stop thinking of the christian life as 'me' getting closer to God. Me becoming obedient to Him to be able to be used. Me living life abundantly. I truly was able to see the bigger shift and I really felt a paradigm shift happening in many areas. As I read some parts I literally felt some sort of shift in my brain happen. It was as if a box I had created was blown apart and my mind was open to many other perspectives and ways of looking at our purpose.

I really understood more God's ultimate purpose and how we really had messed it up in many ways with our human efforts to promote individualism and independence... when the Bible preaches exactly opposite. God's mission is not man-centered but God-centered. (pg 14) Amen!
Commentaries on each volume:

The Bride of Christ

I loved this chapter. I walked away from it thinking WOW how come we don't talk about the Bride more!? He is right, she is "a forgotten woman".... This truly confirmed so many of the things God has been doing in me the past year truly learning to love others. It really helped some things "click". This past year it seems He's been teaching me a lot about the Bride.... especially this section in Ephesians where it discusses the bride and Christ and each roles ('jobs').... so much of this chapter fit so right into my spirit I felt like I could have written it! God really spoke to me through this chapter a lot.

• God is perfectly adequate within Himself. But because God is love, He is not content to be adequate in Himself. (pg 39).... was so thankful Mr. Viola made sure to make this clear. I would have been so turned off if he had not written this yet continued to talk about the Son's passion for a Bride and counterpart.
• loved reading the connection/parallels between Adam & Jesus's love stories
• curious how other men would receive these ideas of being part of the Bride. Does that sit well with other men? There are so many things we think of when we hear the term "bride"... are any of those things (gender specific) true about THE Bride? Wasn't sure how to work that out in my brain. Is Jesus male? He is a son, He is a male like Adam? I kept getting that all jumbled up. I can really relate being a bride, since I am now a wife - I wonder if the majority of men can fully appreciate being part of the Bride?
• Very powerful explanation of why Jesus had to find a lover and have an outlet for His love on page 57. Loved that entire part of the book. Jesus' love must find a home and then it will eventually return to Him. If a woman doesn't open her heart to a man's affections, his love will find no outlet. It will stay frozen within him and he will experience an agonizing frustration.
• "Free at Last" section might have been my favorite in the whole book. Pages 61 - 64 Without seeing yourself as God sees you, there will always be anxiety between you and the Lord. We have no right to an inferiority complex. We have no right to perpetual guilt. We have no right to see ourselves as unworthy. We have no right to allow ourselves to be hounded by an accusing conscience....... we *are* unworthy in ourselves... we all are... but we are not in ourself, we are in Christ. And that is where God sees you and me, inside of purity itself..... what grieves Him the most, is when she does not accept that love........ He has accepted you completely and fully. His love is not based upon your conduct, but upon His own. Open your heart and receive His fervent love. In this way, you will be able to reciprocate it...... she (the bride) has been programmed to believe she must work, sweat, and strain to earn God's favor and love...... She can only love her bridegroom when she is utterly liberated from fear, guilt, and religious duty and takes her Lord's view of herself..... We are His Bride, not His slave or His maid. She has His favor. He is pleased with her right now.
• The writing on God's love... more thoughts on the 'fear' of the Lord, guilt and the condemnation we put on ourselves and each other on page 74 to 78 again so powerful! We do not have to hide from the Lord, though that is a spiritually transmitted disease started in the garden. Distancing ourselves from the Lord due to a guilt headache and a condemnation hangover hurts Him far more than the sin that created those feelings.
• Your good works do not affect His love for you (pg 76)
• Really liked how he continued to tie together different passages and books of the Bible. Gensis & the Gospel of John pg 116 and then Revelation &the Gospel of John
• the chapter ends so beautifully: This glorious woman is in Him, by Him, through Him and to Him. God's grand mission is to obtain a bride who passionately loves His son. Any missional endeavor, therefore, that doesn't put the chruch front and cetner falls short of God's central thought...... This passionate God of yours is simply looking for a people who will love Him! Let us then accept His opinion of us and get down to the simple business of allowing Jesus Christ to overwhelm us with His unbreakable love and His unbridled passion..... this is the first step to fulfilling God's ageless purpose.

• One thing I did not like throughout the book was the numerous "lists" as the author tried to parallel or make exhaustive support for a point he was trying to make. He lost me each time he did that and I'm really not sure where he's getting it from. "This represents this" ---- metaphors/parallels to what things could symbolize what. It seems to me many times he was trying to go 'too far' and though I don't think it went against scripture - I just don't think scripture supports the ideas he was listing off. But it didn't turn me off enough to put aside what he was trying to get across. I would just zoom through the "lists" and simply read the one or two from the list that he went in depth with and those 2 would usually make enough evidence for me for the point he is trying to prove.

An Eternal Quest: A House for God

• In the last section, we discovered that God's ageless purpose is to obtain a bride for the eternal Son..... God's ultimate purpose is bound up with obtaining a home for the everlasting Father. (134)
• I really believe Frank Viola did a great job tying in the scripture to this 2nd purpose. It seems so obvious to me now - God's mission to find a home/house. Not sure why I had never heard that talked/written about before but now I see it all over the Word.
• stones that are not built together with other stones ruin good land (2 kings 3:19) Thus lone-ranger christians are of no use in the building of God's house... COnsequently, God is monumentally disinterested in raising up spiritual giants. He's looking for a people who are willing to be cemented together for His dwelling.... The Lord Jesus is looking for willing vessels who will abandon their western-styled individualism and live a shared life with others under His exclusive headship. (171)
• had trouble with chapter 17 - sent the author many questions about "organized religion". what it means really, implications, and many other questions because I really just don't know enough about this debate and what is good/bad .... right/wrong about either. I do really understand the description and discussion of "ekklesia" and am in agreement with much of the chapter - but at the same time much of it is confusing - I am sure many of his other readers won't have that problem though.
• one of those lists I wrote about above that I don't get and think just goes too far is pg 198 - 199 ..... really am not into all the symbolism.... symbolism always just seems too opionated and not always biblical.
• Enjoyed that the book really promoted personality responsibility to partake in our Savior but also that it is impossible to make it an individual pursuit. We need each other.
• Food, Drink and Rest section one of my favorites in the book. (pg 204) all about partaking in Jesus and letting Him do His work in us - there is rest in partaking not work, legalism, standards, expectations
• section named Tale of 2 Trees (207) I believe did try to explain further the debate against religion..... "organized religion" I guess.... and this chapter made a lot more sense... but still wrestling with it all.
• Great last paragraph that really summed up the section: The need in this hour is the same in every age. It is for God to secure a people who will allow Him to work the imperishables of gold, pearl and precious stone in them corporately. A people who will make their exit from the counterfeit habitats that vie for their loyalty, and who will pay any price to be constituted together with others who are learning to partake of Jesus Christ. For it is through such that God builds His house. (220)

A New Species: The Body of Christ and the Family of God

• Loved this section as well! All three really were incredible and came together beautifully. This one really caused a lot of shifts to happen in my thinking. Just incredible points to focus on.
• Description of church was awesome in chapter 22.
• The Body has truly been the focus of much of what God has been teaching me in the past year - in preparation for how God is using me now/ what God is doing through me now in our church community.... so this chapter really sparked a lot in me. It brought all the lessons from the book together for me so much that I almost felt like wrote many parts of this myself. Love when the Spirit does that.
• salvation is not simply an individual transaction. It's rather a translation from one community into another. (col 1:13)
• Jesus Christ is one with His body.... We are part of His body.
• When I read that section about how we truly are part of His body, that it's not a metaphor, but we are part of Him. He being the head, us the Body.... I just had such a shift in my brain/heart. It really gave me so much clarity and it was the puzzle piece that made so many things click. I think I knew that.... but for some reason reading it the way he continued to write about made it so much more clear. Thinking of how we are inseparable from Christ and how we are looked at by the Father the same way He looks at the Him (since we are one) just really helped me understand and accept on a whole new level His love, grace, undying passion for us.....
• if you are in Christ, you cannot help but be loved by the Father, enraptured by Him, and the object of His undying love. this truth is difficult to hold in our minds. consequently, it is one of those tasks of a local Christian community to remind its members of those realities (250)
• Because you and I are in Christ, we come to the Father through Christ and by Christ. If Jesus Christ can be condemned, than you and I can be condemned. If He is outside the reach of condemnation then you and I are as well (251) Romans 8:1
• I like that he made sure to put in there a brief note about chastisement and that God will chastise out of love - but that it in no way affects His unconditional acceptance
• when we discover that our relationship to the Father is actually Christ's relationship to His Father, it changes everything. Our souls find rest..... no longer do we say things like, "*I'm* working on *my* relationship with the Lord"... "*I'm* struggling to be a better christian"
• You and I do not have separate fellowship with God the Father. we have been called into the one unique fellowship of God's Son. Christ's perfect unclouded relationship to His father is the marvelous legacy that He has given to you and me (254)
• *loved* chapter 25 - discussion of Paul's letter to the corinthian church that was full of all kinds of problems.
• We christians are not simply disciples of Jesus. We are not simply believers in the Savior of the world and the Lord of creation. We are members of Christ.
• because we are all inseparable from Christ..... to wound a member of the Body is the wound Christ.
• Col 1:18 - eph 1:10 --- wow this chapter really helped me understand much scripture in a totally new light.
• pg 270 to 271 the Fullness of Christ - great explanation of church and how wrong our individualistic nature is
• *really* loved the description in chapter 27 - what does it look like today?.... helping it sort of come into focus what true church should and could look like in its simplest forms. Many church leaders today will not like this chapter but I believe it's the truth. It really boils down what is of most importance and what "stuff" we could leave out of our church communities. challenging stuff but so true!

When then is God's end? What is His grand mission? It's to expand the life and love that's in the Trinitarian Community. It's to increase the fellowship of the Godhead and reflect it on earth........ to obtain a bride, a house, a family, and a body that is by Him, through Him and to Him..... God's ultimate purpose begins in Genesis 1 (which he did a great job explaining) before the fall not after the fall.

Just absolutely LOVED the community and corporate focus. I got so excited as I truly was convinced of God's purposes and it really just re-affirmed everything God has been teaching me the past few years. These topics, the bigger picture.....are truly not talked about often enough. This all (in general) fit so right with my Spirit and I just LOVE talking, listening, reading, writing about the Body, the Bride.... and now I can add in to that... the House of God.

Focusing on these purposes of God and finding my place in them, in Him, for Him, by Him has been an incredible revelation. I loved this book and would recommend it to all who understand or desire to understand that our purpose is not just to be saved from hell or to try to be a 'good person' or 'to please God'.... but there's a much bigger picture that is entirely focused on God and His ultimate purposes - as it should be! His story is so exciting and SUCH 'good news'!! Life is not about simply 'winning the lost' but it is ALL about God!!! We are part of a much bigger picture, praise God for making His purpose be in our best interests as well! More than any other 'purpose-focused' book and 'finding our place in the story' book --- it truly was God-focused; God-glorifying; God-centered and not me-focused; not individual focused..... which was truly soothing to my Spirit since I know that is the way things should be! It is all about Him!

Thank you so much God for using this book in my life and Mr. Viola for allowing this work to flow through you!

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The following bloggers are posting a review or Q & A with Frank Viola on his bestselling book FROM ETERNITY TO HERE today, Tuesday, July 21st. You may order the book at a discount at www.FromEternitytoHere.org – it’s also on audio book. Free discussion guide, sample chapters, interviews, and a free audio of the first chapter are available on that site also. Here are the bloggers who are participating:

Jay Becker - www.jaybecker.org
Mark D - http://deadmanstravelog.blogspot.com
Igniting Hearts - Kimber Britner - http://www.ignitinghearts.blogspot.com/
Karyn - http://tiger-kar.blogspot.com
Barefoot Preacher - http://thebarefootpreacher.blogspot.com
Every Day Angels - www.WeAreEverydayAngels.com
FaithEngineer - http://www.faithengineer.com
Kristen Schiffman - http://dancinginthemargins.typepad.com/
CrossPointe: The Church at Bevo - http://churchatbevo.blogspot.com/
Crazy Love for God - crazyloveforgod.blogspot.com
Amazima Ministries - oatsvallteam.blogspot.com
Down to Write Honest - http://downwritehonest.com
A Beautiful Mess - http://blnorth1105.blogspot.com/
The Blakes on a Mission - www.theblakesthailand.blogspot.com
Words by Jud Kossum - http://judkossum.blogspot.com
Eric Jaffe - http://www.ericjaffe.org
Reconnect with God – www.Reconnectwithgod.org
2nd Cup of Coffee - http://www.2nd-cup-of-coffee.blogspot.com
Nolan Bobbitt Website - www.nolanbobbitt.com
Klappyanne - www.xanga.com/klappyanne
Daveingland - http://www.daveingland.com
Randi Jo Rooks - http://seedsinmyheart.blogspot.com
Ephesians Five – http://ephesiansonefive.blogspot.com
Michael Bayne - http://www.michaelbayne.net
Encounter Church Helena Blog - encounterhelena.org
Thoughts B4 Conviction N2 Action - tsharrison.blogspot.com
Edevotion - http://www.e-devotion.blogspot.com
Seeking After - http://seekingafter.blogspot.com
Eric Powell - www.encounterhelena.org
Borrowed Light - http://fbcnewlondon.blogspot.com

Chandler on Gospel in Bible Belt

I saw this on Gospel Driven blog.... and wanted to post it here. I hear what he is saying here and can relate 100%! I find all this to be so true of where we are in North Carolina as well. SOO many people I come across know enough (think they know about) about Jesus that they think they don't need to know more. but they only know *about* Him... but they don't KNOW Him. His love, grace, patience. The challenge is how to get all of us to be gospel-focused again. I like his idea of constantly contrasting how so many of us live and think to how Jesus lives & thinks from the Word. I think that getting churches to truly be gospel-focused is so challenging... because so many times - the leaders of churches across our country are not gospel-focused. How did these leaders get into these positions of leaders? So many of them are morality-focused; professional focused pastoring/success-focused; works-focused; religion-focused.... not Jesus & gospel-focused. Continue to open hearts to you Jesus. Give us more leaders that will focus on you and the Good News alone.

Delight in Him, self-denial, seeking pleasure, longings

So many different things going on in my journey right now. Just seems like a lot of shifting, changing, wrestling is going on. BUT I feel optimistic at what will come out of all of this. Pushing through feels so good. I feel breakthroughs happening or about to happen. Seems so many of us are just in a training season - lots of breaking to be molded, shaped.. always hard - but yet "the hard is what makes it good". The tough is what makes us better.

I could probably write down so many thoughts from my regular journal about all the different areas of our life right now - church, relationships, family, whatever.... but just wanted to share some insights of what I'm learning personally.

This past year I've been wrestling back and forth with self-idolatry. Being self-focused. How to have more of God, less of me.... yet still somehow love me and see value in myself as God's creation. Much of what I was processing through was written in this post in March. I felt like God had really helped me then..... but He has given me some fresh insight as well. I was missing a key component back then. http://seedsinmyheart.blogspot.com/2009/03/self-idolatry-gods-grace-body.html

I feel like the devil just loves for us to over-correct. It was like I really realized I had been too self-focused.... so he swung the pendulum totally the other way and made me feel that I could never think of myself ever. Enter in more guilt & standards & mess. Self-denial and unselfishness had become my idol. Weird.

So finally during a 'session' last week :) aka tears, exhaustion from lack of rest & peace & too much thinking, frustration ...... I wrote in my regular journal:

God, something got thrown off. Somehow I am not captivated in your love right now and somedays I even miss a little bit the way I lived pre-Spirit coming in and changing me. I know your presence & love isn't a feeling so it's okay when I don't feel the Spirit's presence & don't feel excited, passionate. I'm mature enough in that way that I have faith even when I can't see or feel what I know is there. But it's more than that. I have a longing that isn't getting fulfilled right now. Something isn't right. How come I felt so broken before when I lived that life without you.... but now with temptation lurking (even if it's very minor temptations) the devil sometimes tricks me into thinking I am missing out??? He tricks me into believing even a little bit that I am missing something. He tries to convince me that you are boring and that you want only suffering from me. Only struggle. Only molding. That you desire to not even be me at all -- but just be a shell that you live in. That's a message I heard for so long. That I just have to deny self so much that I'm fully you and not even me. That there is nothing good in me so I have to empty out all of me and when I am fully you in me then I will be good, 'good enough'. WOAH even writing that I can see how messed up it is. But isn't that the message we send so much of the time? (and then on the other hand - we have groups that have realized how messed up that message is --- and they over-correct this wrong message and make the mistake of uplifting people so much to the point that it takes the focus off of Christ. It takes the focus off our brokeness. We have to stay focused on the gospel truth. That we ARE valuable - but we ARE broken. )

How easy it is to forget we have value because we are God's creation. He didn't give up His ONLY son because He felt bad for us and like, "oh they are pathetic, throw them a bone" --- His son is no scrap, no bone.... He was the most important thing to Him and He gave Him up for ME! Obviously there is something about me worth saving. God desires to be in fellowship with us. And He was willing to go to the HIGHEST extremes of sacrifice to have that. Wow.

As the gospel message once again soothed my soul and reassured me that a) He is good b) He loves me c) I have value and d0 He is worth anything I have to give up

I turned from my temptations and focused on Him. I asked Him though to somehow show me what to do with these longings. Obviously, since I was being tempted and I had a longing not being met - I needed His help. So I asked Him... God do I just push down this longing? Pretend it doesn't exist? Work on self-denial? What?

The next day - my mom gave me a book for my birthday - Desiring God - John Piper. I'll just say.. WOAH. I'm talking a specific and direct and personal answer to those questions from the DAY BEFORE. Here is what I read:

Delight yourself in the Lord (Psalm 37:4) ........... God is most glorified in Him when I am most satisfied in Him (WOW!!! that is truly one reason why God is not as glorified in this country as He should be --- we are not satisfied in Him --- we are so focused on doing things right and staying in the lines --- we are not being encaptured by His love, His beauty, His goodness, Himself that is more filling than the choicest of foods & sweetest of desserts)

The Joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10. Find strength from spiritual joy! May the living God who is the portion and rest of the saints, make these our carnal minds so spiritual and our earthly hearts so heavenly that loving Him and delighting in Him, may be the work of our lives. When delighting in God is the work of our lives - there will be an inner strength for ministries of love to the very end.

Pursuit of joy in the Lord is the key to breaking the power of sin. I know of no other way to triumph over sin long-term than to gain a distaste for it becasue of a superior satisfaction in God. God remainds gloriously all-satisfying. The human heart remains a ceaseless factory of desires. Sin remains powerfully and suicidally appealing. The battle remains: where will we drink? where will we feast? and the answer is clear: Feast on God.

God's passion to be glorified and our passion to be satisifed are *one* experience in the Christ-exalting act of worship.

I used to have this feeling that if I did something good because it would make me happy, I would ruin its goodness. I figured that the goodness of my moral action was lesssened to the degree that I was motivated by a desire for my own pleasure. To be motivated by a desire for happiness or pleasure when I volunteered for christian service or such - that seemed selfish, mercenary. This was a problem because I coudln't formulate an alternative motive that worked. I found in myself an overwhelming longing to be happy, a tremendous impulse to seek pleasure, yet at every point of moral decision I said to myself that this impulse should have no influence. Even with worship - I thought it couldn't be about me at *all*. There must be no self interest. Without knowing, I was removing my heart. In a matter of weeks, I found it was unbiblical and arrogant to try to worship God for any other reason than the pleasure to be had in Him. Not His gifts, but Him. Not ourselves, but Him.

All men seek happiness. This is the motive of every action of every man - even of those who hang themselves. Seeking one's own happiness is not a sin; it is a simple given in human nature. It is a law of the human heart, as gravity is a law of nature.

If asked 20 good men today what they though the highest of virtues - 19 would reply unselfishness. Yet, if you ask 20 christians of old - all 20 would reply LOVE. How did the negative term get substituted for LOVE, the highest of virtues. Ironically enough, unselfishness carries with it not so much even serving good things for others - but in doing without them ourselves! (which is actually selfish - weird) Our abstinence and not others happiness was most important. In there lurks in most modern societies that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing. I would say that has no part in christian faith.

Our Lord, as C.S. Lewis says doesn't desire us to have no desires. He encourages us that our desires are not too strong, but too weak! We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered to us, like an ignorant child who wnats to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine waht is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. we are far too easily pleased.

It is not a bad thing to desire our own good. We don't seek pleasure with nearly the resolve & passion we should!! we OUGHT to seek our own happiness. Our mistakes lies not in the intensity of our desire for happiness but in the weakness and direction of it!

our infinite abyss can only be filled by ain infinite and immutable object, that is to say, only by God himself. All those years of trying to suppress our longings made us surprise our desire & passion for God!! (wake up!!)

Persistant and undeniable yearning we all have for happiness was not to be suppressed - but glutton on - on God! Praise should be motivated solely by the happiness we find in God. God desires praise from us - not as a vain woman who wants compliments --- but because all enjoyment spontaneously overflows into praise!

We delight to praise what we enjoy becuase the praise not merely expresses but completes the enjoyment! It is its appointed consummation! God is not worshipped where He is not treasured & enjoyed! Praise is an expression of joy. To NOT enjoy God is to dishonor Him!

God is glorified by our joy in Him!!!

Are we joyful in Him? Can people see the joy He brings to our lives? Can people see our face aglow as on our wedding day?

To say He is not fully satisfying is sacrilege. Have you ask Him to satisfy you? Have you given Him the chance!?

God is glorified when His glory is rejoiced in.

wake up! show people who He is, what He has done, what He can do! How perfect and beautiful and loving He is!!

It was one of those moments when I was so convinced of God's presence I just cried. Oh GOD YOU CARE... you care to answer me!!!!!! It's ABSURDly glorious!! My brain can't handle it!!! This is available to everybody ---- but do you love everybody like this?! This world would be soo different if everybody knew you like I do!! I am undeserving! I praise you God. You are amazing and perfect and you LISTEN and you are the best Father ever. Your love is just AMAZING. I have no words to even describe what you do to me. There is nothing in this world that would tempt me to forsake you in these moments. Oh God I can't believe how fickle I am. How immature & wish washy. God help my unbelief. I believe! I believe in your goodness & your love. God keep me from temptations. Help me continue to pursue YOU to fill all these longings!!! Help me not push down my longings but to feel them to the upmost so you can fill me beyond measure! Help me continue to believe so much that your love is better than anything this life has to offer! I could sing of your love forever!!!! I could sing of your love forever... how great though art!

De-Churched... Moralistic Deism

Worship

My new favorite verse

All these years of reading the Bible and I've just now found this treasure! :)

Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.
Romans 12:11 NIV

Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master.....
Romans 12:11 Message

but serve the Lord with a zealous spirit; or but let the Spirit excite you as you serve the Lord.
Romans 12:11

It's not only OK to be zealous - God desires it of us! :) His Spirit excites us! *IF* we let Him! :) WOW that's cool!

It's so exciting to know I don't have to keep my flame in tact. YES I *do* need to have self control....yet I can be excited! We have freedom to be enthused, excited, passionate, on fire. God has blessed me with a personality that is full of these things and it is exciting to know that I can be free to be the full me He created me to be! I don't have to "grow up" the way the world desires me to!

So many times I used to get discouraged when others didn't express their excitement like I did --- but I have learned that:
a) many are just not excited because...
b) many haven't experienced what I have and...
c) many are going through different seasons than me... OR
d) nobody has the exact personality as I do and I have to be okay that they express their zeal differently!

SO it doesn't matter if others are excited just like me or not..... as my brother in Christ Mark shared with me last weekend from a book entitled _____ (?) (this is my paraphrase).... we are free to be consumed in the presence of our God and get so wrapped up in the music He spins into our lives that we ignore the other cadences the world tries to project into our days. We can get caught up in the music! We can be all who we are meant to be in His presence. He frees us!

Fervent in Spirit
Zealous
Enthusiastic
NOT indifferent!

I like those phrases!

Thanks for this part of my personality, God. The Randi Jo that you made me to be - the one that leaps into my Daddy's arms, that is excited about you and your love! The one that so badly wants to let loose and dance and let my hair down and squeal in excitement when you make yourself known to me. The one who can't stop smiling when I feel your love... the one who can't stop crying when I hear the Spirit! Thanks for helping me find these words today Daddy! I LOVE you! :)

Simplifying/ Cleansing

So since my last 'revelation' of how much more important it is to lean on God rather than anything else - including knowledge - He seems to be having me go through a de-tox phase in many areas of my life.

Like I wrote previously, I had been focusing too much on knowledge rather than what the knowledge was supposed to do - which was to make me know Him more and be more in tune to Him. I was leaning on my system of learning & seeking Him rather than leaning on HIM. So very clearly, to de-tox me from that system and that obsession with filling my brain (rather than my heart).....He gave me the FREEDom to just cut the system cold turkey and truly just take *ONE* verse or small passage a day from His word and soak in it. There is no point in running through loads of texts, books, opinions if it's taking my eyes off of Him. Good intentions can cause bad idols. When we lean on anything but God - it becomes an idol. The only TRUE transformation comes from the Spirit and a heart tuned in to Him. So unless I was abiding in the words I was allowing in....unless I was making room for them....changing, moving things aside and letting those words become part of me - it was useless to even let them all in.

So this change has done a lot. YES there's a lot LESS going in now.... but I am just doing what I can to just marinate my mind & heart to what I read, listen to, etc....... I just focus throughout the entire day (and not just during 'study time') on what the verse is telling me about HIM or what HE is speaking to me through that verse...how it applies to me....how it has become a part of me....how God can use it in my life. The knowledge is useless if it doesn't spur me to let Him make it a part of me and apply it to my *real* life. I can't separate my study/faith life and my daily life and I believe I was unintentionally doing that.

I was in study/faith mode at some times: "okay I learned this. Got this down. I will remember it for tomorrow when I quiz myself on what I learned today"...... DUH..... the Word is a living thing - and we are supposed to live it OUT, "working out the salvation" daily (in our lives) that we have received.

What in the world have I been doing!?! Where did I go wrong.....

So anyway..... there's my update in that area of my life. God has been so good. He is so faithful to me. I love that He is not quick to be frustrated when it takes me a long long time to really learn what He's trying to teach me over and over again.

So the next step I knew I had to take was a hard one as well. Because I'm taking in a lot 'less' of the Word & books, etc..... (though it's way more quality!! but a lot less quantity) .... I realized I need to cut back on a lot of other things that I allow in. I spend so much time just absorbing nonsense. I don't even mean Hollywood nonsense - I really don't watch TV and I don't read magazines or anything - but just nonsense like facebook & twitter updates, pictures that people post, bla bla bla... I know it can be a great tool to help spur people into relationship and to reach out to others... *but* again - it can be a really bad thing too. So I've quit cold turkey facebook & twitter as well. I enjoy sharing my life with others. I mean I REALLY do! I will share with anybody, anything. I am just so open and will talk like that in person as I do on internet. I just enjoy so much making others a part of my day - even just by telling them the bits & pieces of funny happenings & nonsense that make up my day...... but in the end it's just not that important. Some really great things have come out of my internet use. REALLY great things!!!! but when it becomes more important than important things... it needs to go.

SO I want it to be gone until I can find a better balance and not make it into a routine I feel I *have* to do. I want a simpler life! I can twitter with God instead - He's the best friend anyway, literally, the best. And He is probably the only one who *truly* cares about my day anyway! :)

Something about the 'olden days' before all this information/technology came about just really attracts me. Is it a time past? Will it ever be possible to have that simple life again? What came to mind when I was thinking about that was... things are only as important to you, as you make them to be. So if I just don't make facebook (etc.) important - then they won't be important. Duh :)

Bottom line is.... I can't take in less Word --- and not take in less WORLD. That wouldn't be "guarding my heart". So that's what God is doing in that area... we'll see what comes of it.

The other area He is de-toxing is physical. Again. yet again. geeeesh. I just pray for me & food to have a healthier relationship. I got years and years of a bad relationship between food & I --- but I believe that God can heal that relationship. My first step right now was when I feel the need to eat - to have a big glass of cold water & just wait 30 minutes. So far it's going good.

Thank you God for being faithful to come rescue me when I confessed so many of my sins & how out of wack my priorities can be at times! Thank you for cleansing me and getting all areas of my life right. Thanks most of all for your love & grace that never beats me up - but picks me up!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

Learning, Discipleship, Systems

I have truly been under attack the last few weeks... but God has been so faithful to bring people to encourage me, pray with me and speak into me. He is reminding me to take my thoughts captive and use His Word as a sword! The attack today was just feeling overwhelmed with information. and discouragement of what I felt was time wasted in my past as I tried to learn/grow...

A few thoughts on what I learned:

• because I was always such a great public school student... I have this system of acquiring and retaining knowledge... but here's what I learned: spiritual transformation has nothing to do with that system. That system is not applicable to my spiritual life. (dang! and praise the Lord! I'm so thankful that it isn't!!! I hated that process of school and how nothing was ever used later on. Just memorized for reguritation. So thank GOd it's not like that... but dang! dang! because I sure did treat it like that for a long time... what a waste...)
• true wisdom only comes through experience and life lessons.... letting the Word play out in our lives... not just acquiring knowledge.
• it's all about transformation - not information
• that being said.... I know it's a great thing to be seeking knowledge ("info")... yet I've let it get in the way of me spending time with God. How did that happen? The system became a thing I leaned on instead of God.
• So how to seek knowledge but let it help me get closer to God and not hinder? I don't want the sytem to become a "thing".... so to keep my organized side happy but not depend on the system... I will now choose just *one* verse/passage and not move on to something else until it has become a part of me.... until I have truly soaked it in and have made room for it. I will continue to write letters to God in quiet tme as I have time and as He leads me in my journal - but I will just highlight the passage He's working with me on. Not a million passages a day - ONE.
• I don't know how this happened. I thought I was such an advocate for not letting knowledge be an idol. For God loving my heart and not my brain --- but something shifted..... I truly believe that so many of us christians are so busy LEARNING we don't even know God. We spend so much time learning we never spend time BEing.
• I had truly let myself get overwhelmed with 'information' and organizing it.... There is just so much to know! It's always such a humbling and (even) mourning experience to see how little I know.... how little I will always know on this earth... how much more there will be... and how there is no formula and final exam to regurgitate all of this. That's a great thing and a bad thing. Bad thing because I'm a control freak in many ways and I like systems. I love organization.... but I need to stop leaning on me. I need to GIVE IT UP! Geesh! How many times has God spoken that to me. Give up trying to do it on your own and you will get what you desire!
• I must learn to trust the Spirit more. He will help the words abide in me. He will help me memorize and acquire wisdom.
• I should not be discouraged that I had done it wrong for so long. I did what I thought was best at the time. I refuse to let the devil in to burden me with guilt at the mistakes I've made.
• This process is so hard. All this pruning and growing and stretching. I better get used to it - this is what life is all about huh? :)
• just because I don't remember all the books I've read, all the scriptures.... that is okay. I'm not supposed to. I also don't remember every meal I've ever eaten -- but it nourished me at the time and that's what is key.
• Reminder to self: remember what Allysa spoke into me about grandma. Grandma didn't 'lose' that knowledge and wisdom that life had taught her though I saw her lose it in her earthly body & mind the last years. Her physical body isn't who she was/is. Her spirit is still very alive and well. I can't be fearful of losing knowledge, stressed over keeping it organized, etc..... this isn't what life is about. Geesh! It isn't about filling my brain and storing things up like school - this is all about learning to lean on Him. Learning to think like Him. Live like him. Working out my salvation that He already gave me. Journeying daily with God - to let Him change and shape and mold me to conform to Him more and more. Grandma, who she really is, her spirit never lost anything and she truly did pass so much on to me - that knowledge & wisdom wasn't lost in so many ways!

As always... this teaching though it is for me personally is also SOO applicable to the role I'm in right now with Connections at church. He is reminding me that learning/discipleship/growing isn't linear. There's no -- okay she 'got this' now let's let her graduate into the next 'class'... It's very 'messy'... can not be controlled... Spirit-lead.... circular...and unique for each of us.

How come I truly don't like systems in the church -- yet in my personal spiritual life I was operating in one? What I believe so strongly about discipleship - I need to apply personally!!

Knowledge & wisdom comes from life and I know as Connections director, God just wants to help me create environments for people to connect so they can experience life together. In a tight community with His Spirit.. growing and learning through life experiences... prepared & encouraged & strengthened through the Word.

P.S. I can't stand know it alls.... but I sure do love lovers. People don't care what you know... until they know how much you care. We are not called to fill other's minds with knowledge... we are called to love.

Children Learn What They Live

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Dorothy Nolte

Fishers of Men

I'm just in this season where I just feel the Spirit. A boldness maybe is even the word. I just feel pushed by the Spirit. Pushed, stretched, uncomfortable with all He's asking of me...and every time I try to ignore it.... He sends the message that much clearer & louder. He's telling me that He's looking for people who are willing to reach out. Be a bridge to others! So few people interact with others and truly get into other's lives!

I hear you God.... now help me figure out the easy "next steps" for me. This is the thought process I'm working through today with Him.... tomorrow I will give some more "next steps" as far as how this all fleshes out as I try to make myself available in this world to others!! :)

"...Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men"

Is a person a fisherman if he doesn't cast a line? Is one following if he isn't fishing?

There are 3 tricks the devil will plant in our minds on why we can't engage with others. I pray for each of us to make positive that God is telling us to hold back... and not the devil.

a) I don't have enough time. God - am I giving you enough time? Am I giving your children enough time? God you tell me to be focused on things not of this earth -- and that is you and that is people. That's the only things that will last God. Are we as a church body showing others that they are worthy of our time? Or are we only showing them that *we* are worthy of *their* time.

GOD YES there are periods of our life when you call us to rest. You demand us to rest. But let us be sure that YOU are telling us to rest and we're not acting out of fear, laziness or falling into the devil's trap of excusitis (a disease --- symptoms are excuse after excuse after excuse)

b) I just don't know enough to pour into others. God help me believe that the message of the cross is this simple & foolish God! God it's simple! You picked us up and carried us into our Father's arms because we allowed you to save us. GOD the world doesn't get it! 75% of the people that we ask on the streets, "do you know how to get right with God?" won't answer with the gospel. The cross. The finished work. let us not get bogged down with anything but this message God. Help me understand that the christian life isn't about transfer of knowledge from one person to another but an indwelling of the Holy Spirit and encouraging each other in that. Help me believe Acts 1:8 that I have the power of the Holy Spirit and I know enough to share. God I know nothing...I'm such a blonde and flighty and I'm not super intelligent... yet I know enough to share God! I know the good news God! I know this news---- that there's ONE GOd and He's real and huge and powerful and all knowing and He loves me!! and I have connected with Him, THE God of the universe in a real and intimate way through Jesus. It is that simple God! I don't need to know all the answers. Let us help people get over this myth that only pastors have access to truth and knowledge and God. We know enough to GO! Let's be okay with the gray areas and that there are things we don't know. let it never hold us back from opening our heart because of a lack of knowledge! This is what mentorship/discipleship is all about -- opening our hearts to show His. period. serving others with our gifts! period. amazingly enough - I find people don't care what YOU KNOW... they care that you care! They want somebody to listen!! They want somebody to hear THEIR voice! they don't want to just listen on Sundays --- they want more --- are we giving them that opportunity!??!?!! God there are people screaming for somebody to care! Help us be your heart GOd and show them they are your children and are worthy of our time God! your children are worthy of our ears and worthy of our patience to let them struggle and wrestle and battle. help us not just be satisfied with people conforming to christian living God --- isntead let us not stop praying for converts GOd. For radical followers of you foolish enough to believe they have a secret to share with a confused, information bogged down complex thinking world.

c) I just am empty. If we're going through a dark season... we feel we'll somehow discredit the BOdy if we try to pour into others..... that's a devil's trick! see above -- people need somebody to listen. People need somebody to care. I don't care what season you are in -- you have 2 ears and you can give them to somebody at least once a week. God help us believe that when we have nothing left to give... you will still flow through us. Sometimes GOd THE way you want to help US to get out of our seasons is for us to open our hearts to your children. God we are blessed when we serve others! Let us not forget that God. When we open our hearts to others --- your Spirit in us speaks to theirs God --- and our spirit comes alive as that flow through happens!!

It's not about us - God it's about you. Let us not be a clogged pipe / a rubberneck for what you want to do. let us not keep this secret to ourselves. God let us be a channel that you can work through. You are looking far and wide for people who will just open their hearts to others. Give us the gusto to just GO and see what YOU can do.

wait, Randi & thoughts on Community

To make an incredibly long set of lessons over the past weeks be short.... here it is..... be patient Randi.

Give me a new christian and I will have all the patience that God provides to wait on the Holy Spirit to do His work.... I'm not even waiting for anyTHING out of a new christian (though sometimes I DO fall back and not have as much patience as God would want me to). I don't need them to be looking, smelling, acting like a christian in any set time (in fact, let's hope they don't just conform to christianese... we have now such a "strong" 'christian culture' that one can actually conform without converting to be a follower of Christ) ...point is, I can trust the Holy Spirit to do His work. I am okay that a lot of the work He does won't be seen.

BUT there is something I am yearning for so bad that God has had to continually remind me to wait on... and that is this beautiful vision He has given me on how to truly BE the church. How to truly experience community. How to live life together and truly work toward being an Acts 2 Body. I've seen it... I know others are living it....I'm excited for it. When I do get there, it's not like I'm going to say, "ok that's it, I've arrived".... it's just that I believe it truly is the "next step" God has laid on my heart... and as I pursue Him, I know that this yearning He has put in me for this.. is from Him. He continues to provide me resources & experiences that just fuel me even more for this desire for this specific mission He's given to us. He continues to energize this vision/mission whenever I give up even a little.

But here's the thing He's trying to teach me.... that I can't force others to want to be in community with me. As frustrating as it is... I have to be okay with that. As discouraged as I might get as we look for others to journey together to figure out how to be the church biblically, I can't convince. I'm just ready for the next step... but right now it's clear He's telling me to wait on Him. But it's just tricky.... I try to wave the flag that we need each other/need more time together... but because we don't have the time together now... I'm in a rush when we do get the time cuz I know we probably won't be together again for a while so I'm in a rush to get everything out of those opportunities that we can. And being in a rush doesn't help those opportunities.

God is telling me..... *He* will show others how clear it is in the Bible that we need each other. I truly believe that we are not being obedient & not being the church if we're not in community with others. Truly living life together with open hearts.... reaching up to a mentor and reaching out to others. I really believe everybody no matter who they are, at all times should have somebody they are reaching to/learning from... and somebody they are pulling/reaching to/pouring their heart into.

Just as He has shown me, He will show others. I may or may not be the tool He uses to show that to those around me and I have to be okay with that.

God I'm thankful that you are going to form a community for me & B to be in. Help us wait on others yes --- but also help us reach out and look for those that are ready now. Thank you God that you use so many different avenues to teach others so I don't have to even teach. You will teach through whatever is best for them on your timing.

God I know that this is just the specific vision/mission you've given us and that my brothers & sisters have been given unique visions of their own... GOd open my heart to what you're teaching them too!

God thank you for showing me that I should just find ways to model the type of community I believe you'd want us to be in. Help me be a blessing God and just reach out to whoever is willing. Help me continue to 'wave the flag' of community but never be a burden or annoying. Let me let YOUR truths annoy/offend and never myself or my tone be the one annoying or offending.

YOU create community God -- help me just create environments to foster it and encourage it and never hinder it.

Thank you for the community I know you are creating for us. A community of christians that will share life together... not just Sundays. That will encourage one another in the faith. Listen to & pray for each other's struggles.

Love & Holy Spirit post from January

http://seedsinmyheart.blogspot.com/2009/01/love-holy-spirit.html

I've just been thinking about this post from January and wanted to put it here again. The part I truly wanted to remind myself was this:

He is teaching me what it means to truly LOVE. but I couldn't manufacture/ create that sort of love. I couldn't make myself love Him enough to desire to spend time with Him. that's where the Holy Spirit came in! Listening to talks on the Holy Spirit by Francis Chan and then reading out of Love Dare --- within 24 hours they both had the EXACT same message --- that HE is the one who gives me the ability to LOVE --- selflessly. It is impossible to have agape love and desire God so much without the Spirit. The Spirit is who lets that love flow.The spirit is who we tap into when we show that agape love. It's His outpouring that allows that love to be possible for us.

So it's like the one thing I was striving for - I was *trying* to love God & others (on my own doing)..... when I stopped striving and let Him love and help me --- then I was given back a million fold what I was striving for.... sort of like, you can't get it -- until you give up trying for it. What you sow you shall reep type of thing?? Give up self - get self back? Give up your life, get it back.

I was trying to do things by myself.... rather than letting the Spirit do His thing. It was an impossible feat so obviously the devil had a great hold on me as I beat myself up with guilt.

It's so true --- we can not in our own work manufacture or create love for Him or others. We can't "try harder". HE is love - all true unconditional selfless love comes from Him alone! We must let the Holy Spirit fill us... spending time with Him & The Word, asking God to please fill us with love & passion for Him.... those were the first steps for me. To just ask for help, make myself available in quiet time & time in the Word..... then before I even realized it I was filled with love for Him & others!

What stirs your affection for God?

Saw this post from Pastor Matt Chandler and it really got me thinking... are their things in my life that stir my affection for God? What encourages my soul?

This is so much more than a feeling... I'm not talking about things that make me feel happy... because many times I don't "feel" anything... I'm living by faith. Believing He's there, watching, listening, working, creating, designing. But I want to write these moments down to thank Him and remember these moments when I'm just in the every day reality of life. (I actually don't want to use the word "inspiration" though as Matt Chandler did .... because as most refer to inspiration today... they make it seem like inspiration is a feeling, a surface level fluffy emotion type stuff and many times people get addicted to that. So that that's not what I'm referring to.... I'm referring to what stirs my affections for God. Helps me recharge so I can do this work for Him. What helps me live by faith!)

That was a lot of writing to say nothing... point is.... there are some things in my life that I do believe stir my affections for God, my sweet savior Jesus, Creator, Spirit.

The following are some on that list right now. I don't want anybody to read this though and think that these are ideas are for anybody but me. This entry is purely for *me*. It fits who I am.... things about me only the Creator could truly understand and could use to help draw me to Him.

And another point to add in here is that I can't just go through the motions doing these things thinking the things are what are special. These aren't a checklist for me to do.... these are me acknowledging how God works with me..... memories of how He helps stir my affections for him! To thank Him for knowing me and working with my personality type & way of relating to the world to help me seek Him.

What is special about these things is God being there and the gifts they are, not the things themselves:

• The Word - I guess that's understood... but truly when I'm regularly in the Word... I have no doubt it is an alive "sword of the Spirit".... the protection, guidance, refreshment, insights it gives are from the One God alone. Can not be duplicated, replicated, disputed.
• Not sleeping in regularly... When I respond to God's call to me to spend time with Him before my boys wake up.... it truly does something in me. When the first streams of sunlight peak in and the birdies wake up from their slumber excitedly welcoming the sunshine they have waited for; and He tells me to get up and not roll over - I love those moments with Him.
• Writing about life. Writing to Him. Taking time to truly not just zoom through life but to sit back, reflect, think about what I am experiencing, feeling, learning. Paying attention and writing about it. :) Writing appears to be my creative outlet and I enjoy expressing myself to Him and about Him this way.
• Beyond surface conversations with others. I guess I don't mind chit chat - I enjoy getting to know people and hearing about their day, etc.... but much of the time I am screaming inside to sit down and have a deep conversation - can't we get past all this and talk about our hearts? I have such a longing for true community and to truly have a radical authenticity & openness with others. I really do long for relationships like this that will be people desiring to spend regular time with me to share our hearts. I enjoy having fun and just "being" too....but give me some friends willing to go deep and worship God through our love & authentic conversation together - my soul is awake and alive. My favorite way to worship & praise God might be through conversation. I truly love worshipping God through encouragement, exhortation (is that the right word?) teaching and accountability in the Body. Uplifting others in the Body - I love knowing GOd is being glorified in those relationships. I love feeling God's smile fill my soul as I love with others (my love language - words)
• The beach, sunset, ocean, mountains, watching ants work, horses run, birds fly, dolphins play, butterflies prance, beautiful flowers, waterfalls.... nature! I also love praising Him through the enjoyment & thanks of how beautiful His creation is.
• Reading books other than the Word. Whether it's books on marriage, parenting.... I guess again because my love language is words... give me a book that is gospel focused, biblically based and God glorifying: run to God being the main message...... and my soul is comforted.

Thanks God for all these ways you help me seek you. Thank you for answering my prayers to help me be passionate about being with you and loving you. Today I literally feel in my soul that this mouth of mine doesn't even deserve to utter your name.... yet your Word tells me you love me. God it brings tears to my eyes to know you love me. YOU the Creator of the UNIVERSE love ME and you talk to me God. You spend time with me, you are in me, you care for me, you listen. Why do I have so little faith in your ability to cleanse, lift, fix, change, work sometimes!? Thank you for always forgiving me and loving little old me. You love me God! Unconditionally, unashamedly... you even stand beside me in my mistakes and don't forsake me in embarassment. You are loyal God! What an AMAZING mind blowing Truth! THANK YOU GOD for you! Thank you God for always reminding me of the 2 greatest commandments to love you and to love others.... if I'm not passionately radically in love with you and others.... I know it's time to 'start over' falling back in love with you. How can I ever express to you God my love and thanks for you? I'm in awe how you never give up on me. You draw me in God.