This is so much more than a feeling... I'm not talking about things that make me feel happy... because many times I don't "feel" anything... I'm living by faith. Believing He's there, watching, listening, working, creating, designing. But I want to write these moments down to thank Him and remember these moments when I'm just in the every day reality of life. (I actually don't want to use the word "inspiration" though as Matt Chandler did .... because as most refer to inspiration today... they make it seem like inspiration is a feeling, a surface level fluffy emotion type stuff and many times people get addicted to that. So that that's not what I'm referring to.... I'm referring to what stirs my affections for God. Helps me recharge so I can do this work for Him. What helps me live by faith!)
That was a lot of writing to say nothing... point is.... there are some things in my life that I do believe stir my affections for God, my sweet savior Jesus, Creator, Spirit.
The following are some on that list right now. I don't want anybody to read this though and think that these are ideas are for anybody but me. This entry is purely for *me*. It fits who I am.... things about me only the Creator could truly understand and could use to help draw me to Him.
And another point to add in here is that I can't just go through the motions doing these things thinking the things are what are special. These aren't a checklist for me to do.... these are me acknowledging how God works with me..... memories of how He helps stir my affections for him! To thank Him for knowing me and working with my personality type & way of relating to the world to help me seek Him.
What is special about these things is God being there and the gifts they are, not the things themselves:
- The Word - I guess that's understood... but truly when I'm regularly in the Word... I have no doubt it is an alive "sword of the Spirit".... the protection, guidance, refreshment, insights it gives are from the One God alone. Can not be duplicated, replicated, disputed.
- Not sleeping in regularly... When I respond to God's call to me to spend time with Him before my boys wake up.... it truly does something in me. When the first streams of sunlight peak in and the birdies wake up from their slumber excitedly welcoming the sunshine they have waited for; and He tells me to get up and not roll over - I love those moments with Him.
- Writing about life. Writing to Him. Taking time to truly not just zoom through life but to sit back, reflect, think about what I am experiencing, feeling, learning. Paying attention and writing about it. :) Writing appears to be my creative outlet and I enjoy expressing myself to Him and about Him this way.
- Beyond surface conversations with others. I guess I don't mind chit chat - I enjoy getting to know people and hearing about their day, etc.... but much of the time I am screaming inside to sit down and have a deep conversation - can't we get past all this and talk about our hearts? I have such a longing for true community and to truly have a radical authenticity & openness with others. I really do long for relationships like this that will be people desiring to spend regular time with me to share our hearts. I enjoy having fun and just "being" too....but give me some friends willing to go deep and worship God through our love & authentic conversation together - my soul is awake and alive. My favorite way to worship & praise God might be through conversation. I truly love worshipping God through encouragement, exhortation (is that the right word?) teaching and accountability in the Body. Uplifting others in the Body - I love knowing GOd is being glorified in those relationships. I love feeling God's smile fill my soul as I love with others (my love language - words)
- The beach, sunset, ocean, mountains, watching ants work, horses run, birds fly, dolphins play, butterflies prance, beautiful flowers, waterfalls.... nature! I also love praising Him through the enjoyment & thanks of how beautiful His creation is.
- Reading books other than the Word. Whether it's books on marriage, parenting.... I guess again because my love language is words... give me a book that is gospel focused, biblically based and God glorifying: run to God being the main message...... and my soul is comforted.
Thanks God for all these ways you help me seek you. Thank you for answering my prayers to help me be passionate about being with you and loving you. Today I literally feel in my soul that this mouth of mine doesn't even deserve to utter your name.... yet your Word tells me you love me. God it brings tears to my eyes to know you love me. YOU the Creator of the UNIVERSE love ME and you talk to me God. You spend time with me, you are in me, you care for me, you listen. Why do I have so little faith in your ability to cleanse, lift, fix, change, work sometimes!? Thank you for always forgiving me and loving little old me. You love me God! Unconditionally, unashamedly... you even stand beside me in my mistakes and don't forsake me in embarassment. You are loyal God! What an AMAZING mind blowing Truth! THANK YOU GOD for you! Thank you God for always reminding me of the 2 greatest commandments to love you and to love others.... if I'm not passionately radically in love with you and others.... I know it's time to 'start over' falling back in love with you. How can I ever express to you God my love and thanks for you? I'm in awe how you never give up on me. You draw me in God.