Saturday, January 31, 2009

What Pleases God - Series - Intro

After this post from a few days ago: Love, Holy Spirit I've been thinking a lot about what it means to please God. As I wrote in that post, God showed and confirmed for me that I already had His approval and love because of His most beautiful and amazing grace. I didn't have to do anything to earn it and I could take my eyes off of me. That revelation was so free-ing to my soul.

*** After that though, He started planting seeds that I shouldn't lose my desire to please Him. ***

I used to strive to please Him to seek His approval. Now I should stive to please Him out of gratitude for a saved and changed life.

I used to do things so that He would be proud of me. Now I should desire to do things because He is so worthy of everything in me.

I used to focus on me so much even in quiet time with Him. Now He is helping me in all times focus on Him and do for Him and be with Him just out of love for Him.

He's helping me desire to seek Him just out of love. Out of thankfulness.

I want to write that again.... To desire to please Him because I love Him that much. Not to feel better about me.... but to show my gratitude & love for Him.

So I started looking up in the Word what pleases God. What does it LOOK like when one is living a life pleasing to God? What does it really mean to live for Him relevant to my life right now?

I am sure this is such basic learning for so many but I love breaking things down to the beginning foundational truths I know. I never want to lose the awe and beauty in the most basic foundational message of our Gospel. It's so easy to get bogged down in theories, doctrines, complex answers.... and I do pray He will guide me as I try to navigate through some of that thinking.... but I pray He keeps me passionate about the simple, foundational truths that are life and world changing.

I especially love to "go back" to these foundational lessons whenever I have such a heart revelation like this one last week--- because it's like I'm looking at them through a different lens! Like learning them again for the first time.

So from now until I finish doing this (however long it takes I guess) I will (daily?) post a verse that shows me what pleases God and then add in some thoughts on it.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Getting out of a funk Friday

I am definitely NOT going to do this every Friday at all - I just had to add Friday in the title because... well it's Friday and it flows well.

I have been trying to write down some practical steps that I've been doing the last week that help get me out when I'm in one of my 'down seasons' of life. I went through a bit of a funk there for a while --- not because I was struggling by any means.... but I guess what I mean by that is just out of rhythm? Maybe that makes sense. Just not taking care of myself physically.... not spending my time wisely... and that affects so many other areas - mental, emotional, relational, spiritual.

These little changes in my day absolutely without fail help get me kickstarted out of a funk. Usually funks are during the winter when I've gained weight, am inside all the time and cold.... but they happen all throughout the year. So in no particular order:

a) drink lots and lots of water. I don't get it... but when I drink lots of water I feel so good about myself. When I'm in one of my funks I barely drink any water. Sometimes I set a goal to drink water bottles.... but then I get sick of those (and they're bad for the environment or something) so then I make a goal to fill up my glass at least 5 times in a day full of lots and lots of ice, slices of lemon and water!

b) Get outside. If it's cold - bundle up. Sit out on the porch for 5 minutes. Go for a 10 minute walk. Go for a run. Go to the park. Go to the beach. Get outside!

c) Wake up before Raymond & Brandon. Get your day started before the boys are up, ready to face the day. Coffee with Bible, book, prayer, hanging out, whatever. Just get up!

d) My new favorite thing thanks to CrossWinds Chris Pratt..... Costco sells 6 heads of romaine lettuce for $3!! Woah. How can you eat salad & drink lots of water and not feel healthy (healthier?)... hehe.... at least to know you're on your way to being healthier & slimmer :).... So I've been buying those, washing & drying them putting them in those green bags that MomMom gave us and munching on those throughout the day. Love it!!

e) Listen to music throughout the day

f) rearrange your daily schedule / cleaning schedule --- get out of the rut/ routine

g) clean out a closet or two and give lots of things away :)

h) play the piano or make something beautiful

So there you have it! :) So the next time I tell anybody that I'm just 'down' or in a funk --- these are not the cure all -- but these are the first steps I need to take no matter how much I want to stay in my pj's... not go outside.... and eat junk all day! :)

Of course above all else HE is the one who gets me out of my funks spiritually but these are steps He has helped me realized work for ME to get all other areas of my life lined up with the spiritual. All parts of us are connected so much aren't they? Spiritual, physical, mental, relational, emotional, our surroundings.. anyway just rambling! :) have a great weekend!!!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

P.S. from last post

2 things to add onto yesterday's post

1) I need to tag on another thanks from my last post. Sometimes I forget to thank my hubby and write about all that he has done for me... mostly because we're a WE. I feel like we truly are one, that's he a part of me.... so that even when I write, it's us writing so I forget to mention him as well.....

Shelby put it best when she said:
God has given you a beautiful gift in your husband. To learn about God's love through him. When I didn't really understand God's love for me, God told me to view His love the same way I viewed my husband's love. Whenever he did something sweet, I sat in that sweetness, soaked it up and then I brought God into those feelings and shared them with Him. Husbands are great bridges.

and it's so true. Brandon is one of the most merciful, peaceful men I've ever known and has this great ability to throw His burdens and guilt onto Jesus and never think of them again. All of these changes really came about out of my desire to become more like him in these areas. B is able to hand out mercy, patience & love and deal with guilt in such a healthy way because He had received all that from God.

So thank you God so much for Brandon. Where I am weak, he is strong and vice versa and I know that's a perfect gift from you, our Savior.

2) When I was thinking more about this specific lesson and what God has shown me... I realized how far He's brought me.

I went from:

a) look (mommy & hubby) how much I'm reading the Bible and spending time with God and how much He is changing me, aren't you proud of me?


b) look (God) how much I'm reading the Bible and spending time with you and allowing you to change me..... aren't you proud of me?


c) I trust that you love me God and that I have your approval. God I am so proud to be yours. You are so worthy, I just want to be with you.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Love, Holy Spirit

Wow what a wonderful time of life. To have fresh new dreams as we help launch CrossWinds is so completely awesome and we are so grateful. To have a specific path God has made clear to us. To have something that Brandon and I can be passionate about together as we let God work through us is just the best. We have missed that since we journeyed away from our own business we had together. I am so so so thankful for this season right now!

I have sooo much going on in my head & heart that I could write about -- but I'm just SOO full I don't even know where to start. So I'm just going to copy on here and email I wrote to my dear new friend Erin Blair.

It seems to me that God plants themes in my life - and everywhere I turn - I receive insights & lessons on these themes from soo many different sources and it all flows perfectly together. I LOVE when He does that!!!!!!

Right now the themes are LOVE (agape love) and the HOLY SPIRIT.

For as long as I can remember I have had issues with guilt and self-condemnation and therefore out of that was very legalistic about many things --- but God has been tearing all that away.

He is not asking me to give up anything right now except myself (this was in reference to the Daniel Fast Erin Blair is doing)... which sounds like a lot... but right now He's just molding my heart and mind. He is teaching me that He wants me to do things NOT because I am guilted into doing them... not to make myself feel better about me... not because *I* need love....but because He is THAT worthy of everything in me and everything I can give. He desires me to desire Him. He desires me to crave to spend time with Him just because of who He is and all He's done!

For so long - I read, prayed, gave up ____ because I felt the need to please Him. I needed His approval & love & acceptance........ and He finally smacked me gently in the heart one night at 11 pm last week when I couldn't sleep and He showed me verse after verse that I already HAVE his approval. His love unconditionally.... His acceptance... there was NOTHING I had to do to earn His approval or make Him proud of me. Verse after verse He freed me from guilt and freed me from worrying about ME. He kept showing me I was blameless. I was loved. He showed me that it was over --- I was reconciled to Him. That He had taken away my guilty conscience - Hebrews. That those that look to Him are never covered in shame, Psalms. I woke up the next morning (this was last week) feeling lighter & more free than any day I can remember --- EVER!!! For the first time in years I didn't have a nightmare.

I realized that anytime I was 'doing' (I'm not a typical 'works' person -- but doing to me was reading Bible, spending time with Him, praying)... I was just doing it because I was striving for Him to be proud of me. My focus was on me. I wasn't honoring Him.... but He changed me... now within a few days everything is so different. He took away the rituals. Took away the legalism. Now I want to spend time with Him because He is so worthy of it.

He is teaching me what it means to truly LOVE. but I couldn't manufacture/ create that sort of love. I couldn't make myself love Him enough to desire to spend time with Him. that's where the Holy Spirit came in! Listening to talks on the Holy Spirit by Francis Chan and then reading out of Love Dare --- within 24 hours they both had the EXACT same message --- that HE is the one who gives me the ability to LOVE --- selflessly. It is impossible to have agape love and desire God so much without the Spirit. The Spirit is who lets that love flow.

The spirit is who we tap into when we show that agape love. It's His outpouring that allows that love to be possible for us.

So it's like the one thing I was striving for - when I stopped striving and let Him love and help me --- then I was given back a million fold what I was striving for.... sort of like, you can't get it -- until you give up trying for it. What you sow you shall reep type of thing?? Give up self - get self back?

Anyway -- that is confusing --- but my point is --

I was trying to do things by myself.... rather than letting the Spirit do His thing. It was an impossible feat so obviously the devil had a great hold on me as I beat myself up with guilt.

Thank you GOD for the HOly Spirit!! This great Comforter. YOU in me who helps me love and helps me "die to self".......

and NOW the time with Him is just so much more authentic. I'm not looking to please Him - by being or doing things a certain way in my time with Him. He just gets my heart - good and bad. and there it is! :) I'm just with Him because I LOVE Him, LOVE being with Him.

Once again -- as you keep doing God - you have peeled back another layer of wrong thinking/actions I had and I thank you so much for it! Thank you for my friends.. Erin, Minnow, Kathy, Shelby and my CrossWinds family who poured love & mercy & hope into me helping me take steps toward you!!!

Thank you for this season in my life. Thank you for this great love you have for me --- so that I could get over myself!! I believe in your love! Help me God keep my eyes on YOU. I believe I am free and that I am blameless in your eyes. I am safe & secure so I do not have to worry about me! I love you!!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

From Bush girls to Obama girls

Saw this on pastor pete's blog and had to repost it here. We all do have the common denominator of being human.

I think that President Bush (ex president) is a good man. Of course I've never spent time with him --- but it's just the perception I have. I really believe he's a very good father & husband and has lots of love for his family & country. I loved having him and his family in The White House. I know he will enjoy being back to (somewhat) normal life. However "normal life" can really be for an ex-president. God bless him for all he's had to endure. I don't think many of us would have lasted 24 hours in his shoes. I wish him and his family all the best and many more years to enjoy each other and impact others with the wisdom they have gained.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Mad Church Disease Review

In November, I won a book that I was to read & review named Mad Church Disease -- Overcoming the Burnout Epidemic. The author Anne Jackson has a blog @

Although the book was specifically for people blessed to be serving in ministry, it really was applicable to me as I continue on my walk with God. I am not on staff at any church and have never been in a formal ministry role anywhere - but as we walk & grow with God we are all in ministry. To me, it was a great reminder about balance and remembering who it is that gives us our value. The book was an easy read but the material was challenging. What I enjoyed most about Anne's writing was her heart and her love for the Body of Christ that clearly showed through. It was refreshing to read & believe her words stating she would "never give up on the church".

It was eye-opening for me to see what many church leaders across the nation have to go through. It really showed me how much I need to increase my prayer, mercy & patience with those in ministry around me. The statistics on pastors & their daily lives, prayer lives, etc.... was astonishing and really quite disturbing. It made me want to do anything I could to help those in ministry around me.

Though the book spoke of many issues & past negative experiences she and others encountered while in ministry - it was not a book full of bitterness, resentment & a generally negative tone which would have really turned me off. The chapters that were most impactful to me as I move into more in-depth church roles were the chapters examining the risk factors & symptoms of Mad Church Disease. I also loved the chart of self-righteous service vs. true service.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book:

Since I had allowed spending time with God to be replaced by spending time doing things for God, my spiritual tank had been sucked dry.

The fear of letting people down, especially in spiritual matters, can often cause us to feel obligated or pressured into meeting unrealistic expectations, or worse, spending more time doing things for God instead of being what God wants us to be.

A healthy environment is formed in the spirit of true humility. Humility that causes us to want to step out of the spotlight and take ourselves out of the picture. Humility that makes us desire to sacrifice our own need for affirmation and acknowledgement and to bring fame and glory only to the One who made us. Humility that not only puts God first but puts others in front of us as well.

Thanks Anne for sharing your heart. I really did enjoy the book! :)

Friday, January 16, 2009

Trust - Pastor Steven Furtick

This blog entry by Steve Furtick was so appropriate since MyOneWord for 2009 is TRUST. Check it out:


I have been thinking a lot about "God's will" / decisions / plans / etc.... and this blog was such a blessing for me to read.

P.S. Wild Goose Chase, School

P.S. on last post.... I forgot to mention the thing that had me chuckling the most! As I read the chapter on logic/ letting God out of our logic box..... I looked up at a sign that was front and center of the room above the chalkboard and it read, "logic is your friend"

so ironic!!! :)

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Wild Goose Chase, School, Wonder

While I was volunteering at the high school today (they needed proctors for testing) I was able to read Wild Goose Chase by Mark Batterson. It was a really fast read and really touching. I really encourage anybody/everybody to read it! Many parts of it were completely applicable to what is going on in my life right now.

The most interesting part of the whole experience to me this morning at the school was the Spirit really confirming to me to be thankful for all God has done in my life since high school. I felt Him comforting me that I was not the same person I was in high school (thank you God) and reminded me just how much healing has taken place in such a short time. Even though it wasn't my high school I visited... walking through the halls - the smells were the same, noises and expressions on the faces all the same.... it brought back many memories of who I was in high school and the mistakes I made and others made to me. All I could do was thank God for getting me out of high school mostly unharmed/un-scarred for life. I thank Him so much for how He has changed me and is changing me.

I was reading in passages in Wild Goose Chase that were all about letting God out of the boxes we put Him in:....we are so trapped by our own logic...we limit everything in life, including God to what we can comprehend in our cerebral cortex, so we have cages of assumptions..... The more assumptions we have, the smaller our cages are...The TRUTH is, the smartest people are actually the ones who make the FEWEST assumptions.... One of the most dangerous assumptions we can make, is assuming we know more than we really do..... At some point in life, we stop asking questions & start making assumptions.

Faith is not logical. It's not illogical - it's theological. It does not ignore reality, it just adds God into the equation. Faith is not mindless ignorance; it simply refuses to limit God to the logical constraints of the left brain. Logic questions God. Faith questions assumptions. Faith is trusting God more than you trust your own assumptions.

and the whole time, I'm thinking God has such a sense of humor!! Because here I am reading all these passages and letting my mind & heart & Spirit expand and be open and I'm sitting in the very place that I believe is the major cause of thinking that is limited, logical only & predictable.

As I read, I thought to myself.... when do we change? What takes us from believing in limitless possibilities when we are chidren to thinking with only logical constraints? What takes us from wonder to concrete answers only? and then I almost busted out laughing (good thing I didn't get the giggles like I used to) when I looked around and realized I was in the very place that is one of the primary tools society uses to socialize our children to move from childlike faith to predictable logic. I really believe our schools are the primary teaching of this trained thinking of logic, limited possibilities, concrete answers. Learning to think in those ways are important too. It's a skill that is good to learn..... BUT there is no balance in our curriculum. There are no classes to help us protect our heart. There are no classes that help us have childlike faith. There are very few classes that open our minds & hearts to possibilities.

One of the biggest blessings, best gifts God has given me is childlike wonder, excitement and curiosity. I'm a dreamer. I'm an eternal optimistic. I had to tame all of those qualities down to succeed in school. I had to push all that down to fit into adulthood... but as I sat there today, I just chuckled inside at how I've come full circle. Now that I am out of formal education --- I feel like I can finally start growing and learning what life is really about.

Some of my high school friends dedicated the song, "I hope you dance" to me as 'my song'... and one of the lyrics is, "may you never lose your sense of wonder". whenever I see this picture of Raymond running full steam to the ocean one morning at the beach --- that's what I think of.

May we never cease to wonder at all God has done, has created, is doing, is creating, will do and will create. May we never forget the first time we came in contact with the Spirit. May we always remember the first time we felt the full brunt, pain, humiliation, shame, guilt of our own sin... and then the freedom as it was cast from our shoulders to our Savior's.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Transformation, Preparation & A Call to ACTION

I was 7 when I accepted Jesus. Made the decision to love Him and have faith in Him. Since then, God has been a part of my life - mostly because He patiently held me up - not because of anything done on my part. There have been seasons of growth with Him where I had an overwhelming abundance of His love and comfort. There have been seasons where the only thing I had to do with Him was asking Him for things. No matter what season I was in, deep down I always believed He had a plan for me and that someday I would be totally all in, sold out for Him.

That 'someday' started in May 2007. My grandma passed on Mother's Day 2007 and since then so much has been happening in my heart. God has really been stirring something(s) in me. Grandma's first day in Paradise was the first day of my intentional journey with God.
Since that day a year and a half ago, I have really been in a season of preparation. Of intentional study and devotion to getting closer to Him. I really believe that He has always been there for me. That He has always been waiting patiently and doing His part to prepare me.... but He needed me to decide to submit to Him and to finally become intentional in allowing Him to reveal Himself to me, to change me, to use me.

What a wonderful journey it has been in just 19 months. What wonderful things He has been doing in the quiet hours in this chair. at the kitchen table. In my bed. On the kitchen floor. On the bathroom floor, cheeks to the cold tile. Tear marks left in every crevice around here. Tears of shame. Tears of joy. Tears of thankfulness. Tears of brokenness. Tears of frustration. Tears of doubt. Tears of faith. Tears of love. Tears of pain.

I'm so thankful that He didn't have to send me halfway around the world to have a huge turning point in my life. But it did take losing my spiritual mentor and one of my best friends, my grandma to truly start my adventure with Him. I know I can't reverse time - but man would I have done things different if I knew grandma would be leaving that day in May 2007. But...what was the lowest point in my life --- God turned into the very thing that changed me and inspired me.

In small seeds every day, He has helped me make it my passion to pursue Him. He has taken the measly, seemingly insignificant minutes that I have dedicated to Him.... and He has strengthened my spiritual muscles and my faith backbone. He has changed my life. Nobody probably even noticed what was going on through me. It's amazing to me how quiet the Spirit works sometime. Here I am going through a huge transformation and it is unknown to the world - even to some closet to me. I remember so many times - just wanting to stand up and shout in church, on the streets, in my home like people aren't you excited!? Don't you feel what I feel?! Is anybody else alive!?

In the quiet minutes daily in my home, God has shown me to never underestimate the power of the Spirit. He has shown me it's okay to cry. That my "bleeding heart" is beautiful to Him - because His bleeds to. He has given me hope that things can change. That people can be helped. That nothing is ever truly lost. During high school & college, I allowed my bleeding heart, compassion and sensitivity to be hardened and pushed down. It was just much easier to turn away from suffering and put others down for looking — then to feel the pain of compassion and injustice especially when you’re such a sensitive/emotional person. That hardness was just a lack of spiritual maturity. I really believe even looking back that I needed to become hard at that stage of my life because I wasn’t strong and faithful enough yet and it was breaking me down. I used to go home crying from school and have my mom come get me for the littlest injustices I saw - every year - until 7th grade when the hardening started.

But as I journey with Him more and more, He softens me. I can look at injustice & pain more and my heart bleeds again. I can cry again. Because there's hope. There is a Light and there is a mighty power that saves & transforms!!

I cry for the amount of time I spent not pursuing Him. I kick myself for the lack of attention I gave Him, the creator of the universe, open and ready for me. I lower my head in shame at my pride, my selfishness, my immaturity. But He wipes those tears, heals those bruises I afflict on myself and lifts up my chin encouraging me of hope for a new day.

I am so extremely excited for the calling He has made extremely evident to our family. God has called us to a new church & ministry right down the road from our doorstep. He has linked us up with like-minded/hearted friends to journey with. What a beautiful, passionate, humble, incredible, diverse group He is pulling together. He has given us spiritual mentors/leaders to help guide us and encourage us.

We met with the launch team, as a team for the first time yesterday and it took everything in me to hold in the tears I felt welling up looking around at all He's doing. I wept inside out of thankfulness for the heart of our leader whose desire to love God & love people is so touching & inspiring. I believe that God has blessed me with the ability to see what the seeds He is planting now will someday turn into. I see it and I'm fired up! I tossed and turned all night with excitement, joy, thankfulness, anxiety (good anxiety) of all that is in store.

I would love for you all to check out the church website --- there's a new website coming soon. We are the 6th family now added to the launch team.

There's so much to do. So much more He can do if we allow Him. I am praying for Him to reveal to me what specifically He is calling me to do. What skills/gifts has He blessed me with that He can use to build His kingdom, to strengthen it.

Thank you to my bloggie friends for praying for me in this new journey. Thank you for being there the last 2 years. I can't believe I have been blogging (on numerous blog names) for 2 years: What started off as "ramblings" turned into my "retreat" which turned to my "journey" --- which all compiled to be the Seeds In My Heart. God is so incredible!!

I praise you God so much for all you've done for me, in me, the past 19 months. Help me stay humble and recognize my value is in you. That you deserve the credit & praise for anything you do through me. I am sincerely just proof of how the Spirit can change ANYBODY. I have so so so so far to go but I am so dedicated to letting you use me God. Thank you for all you are doing in this heart, this home, this town, this state, this country and this world you created. May You shine in 2009.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

My One Word - Trust

Pastor Chris of CrossWinds told us about a really cool new ministry called, MyOneWord that Port City has started. We thought it would be a great exercise for us to do. I have been writing down words the past 24 hours that mean something to me.

Words that I desire to be descriptions of me/my life/my soul:

There is one word that popped in my heart though as soon as I read about this ministry at the website and that was Trust. To be trusting.

I've always considered myself a very faithful person. Growing up, I pictured God solely as a father figure to me. He was my protector and one who would take care of me like my father did.
I always believed He had a plan for me and I clung to Jeremiah 29:11 as a life verse for a long time pre-Brandon (childhood/high school). I felt I could count on God to give me the desires of my heart, send me where I needed to go, put me at the right place at the right time and align things up in life for me. As I learn more and more about God, one aspect of Him is still that father figure to me.... but there are so many other dynamics of Him He has allowed me to see.

I always knew it was okay to ask questions and to doubt things.... because without doubt, we wouldn't need faith. It's important to be able to admit and be open with the realization that nobody, including ourselves, has all the answers as to God's will. God's nature. God's plan. And there is a lot of grey area. Through the past year, I have come to accept grey areas and even love them.... because coming face to face with those areas and discussing them is what grows my faith. Without doubt there would be no need for faith. I like not having to play God.... and I like not being around people that think they are God either. So I really feel that God has been growing my faith and although I need a lot of growth in this area - I also have come a long way in this area.

BUT although I would consider myself faithful and I'm okay with doubts & questions (though I need LOTS of growth in this area too)... I believe there's a difference between faith and trust.

I very much have a trust issue with God. I have faith in Him and His love. I have faith that He has a plan for me and will make my decisions that I make right in the long term.... but I don't give near as much trust to God & the workings of the Holy Spirit as they deserve.

I believe that faith actually comes easier to me than trust.

Faith is being able to see what's not there. The "substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1). I am a very enthusiastic person and always am optimistic about the future. I have faith that He has my future in His hands. I have faith that in the long term, all things will work for the good (Romans 8:28).

but I do have issues with trust. Trust is relying on the ability, integrity, strength & plan of God despite the evidence showing. It's being confident of God's goodness and plan despite what our senses are telling us. It's believing in spite of the evidence seen.

I have some control issues. I like for things to go according to my plan. I will totally take off the mask here and say in many ways I try to play God in many areas of my life. I'm a great planner. I am organized. I am observant. I am watchful of my family and friends. I can trust in me. I was always that friend that the other parent's left in charge because I was so trustworthy. So reliable. I remember even at the age of 7 going to a friend's party at her house and everybody was out of control silly and acting crazy and although I did get silly & crazy (still do).... I always would be the one to know that the parents were annoyed with us. That we needed to calm down. That the parent was trying to get down the stairs with all the gifts and needed help. I am a trustworthy person. My boys can count on me to have all their needs (cup, blanket, bandaid, etc.) when we go somewhere (which is why I carry a mary poppins bag and why it takes me 30 minutes to leave the house hehehe). I'm trustworthy.

I'm trustworthy. It's a strength. It's a weakness. It's a blessing. It's a curse. I rely on myself too much. I think I'm a better planner than God sometimes. I'm not sure I have ever truly given up and trusted His will for my life entirely... in many areas. In many areas of my life --- I inside negotiate with Him... like, "I will only do Your will in this area, if you will do it this way, at this time"

I have issues :)

So my one word for this year is trust. I am completely committed to this word this year. I will trust Him. I will do whatever I can to trust Him in ALL areas of my life. I will allow HIM to be the planner. I will trust Him despite what it appears around me. I will trust that He is smarter than me. I will trust that He is a better planner than me. I will trust that He loves me more than I love myself. I will trust that He's a much better decision maker than me.

I will surrender my fears & worry and I will trust that yes in the long term He will make things right --- but He also has my back NOW. He will guide me. He will help me make right decisions. He will assist me to stay in His will.

God does not need me. What a wonderfully free-ing thing to know I don't have to have all that pressure on my shoulders. He doesn't need my help with planning.

He is completely trusthworthy!!

The verses to support my word are below. The first 2 are most special to me. Proverbs 3:5-6 is one of the first 2 scriptures I ever memorized in my life. Those words have always been there in my heart since I learned them in my elementary years so many years ago. How much more precious they become every year.

Proverbs 3 :5 - 6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

Isaiah 26:3 You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.

Isaiah is a very special book to Brandon & I. Raymond's middle name is Isaiah, most people don't know that. The first part of this scripture is hanging up on a beautiful wood carving that always hung in my grandma's house. When she passed on in May 2007 my mom gave me this verse plate and it is in our living room. I didn't know the end of the verse until I was looking up scripture on "trust" and found this one. How appropriate.

Psalm 13:5 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I Cor 13:7 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres.

Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 10:11 Anyone who trusts in Him will never be put to shame

John 14:1 Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me - Jesus

Nahum 1:7 The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him.

Jer 17:7 But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him

Isaiah 26:4 Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord is the Rock eternal

Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid.

pslam 31:14 But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, 'You are my God'