Thursday, August 21, 2008

Temper Tantrums - Dobson Excerpt

Well I know that this week is different because Raymond is sick still and so that is why his normally EXTREMELY strong will and temper is at an exceptional high (which I didn't think it was possible to get higher).... but I feel I'm at my end with what to do to handle them. I am losing the battles, frequently and quite exhausted... so here's my next course of action when the next tazmanian devil temper tantrum comes:

Everyone who has raised a toddler has probably been confronted at some point by a full-blown temper tantrum. Its fury is something to behold coming from a kid who only weighs 25 pounds. Usually a firm hand will discourage such violent behavior—but sometimes not. Some children throw tantrums specifically for the purpose of stirring up and manipulating the big powerful adults who claim to be in charge.

I knew one family, for example, that had a three-year-old boy who was still throwing the most terrible fits when he didn't get his way. He would fall on the floor—kick, scream, spit and cry. His parents had done everything they knew to stop the tantrums, with no success. One night, they were reading the paper when the kid wanted them to do something. They didn't move quickly enough, so he went into his violent contortions. Out of exasperation, since the parents didn't know what else to do, they didn't do anything. They just went on reading. The child was shocked by their unresponsiveness. He got up, went over to his mother, shook her arm, and again fell screaming to the floor. Still neither parent reacted. He then approached his father and hit the newspaper before going into another tirade. By this point, Mom and Dad were secretly watching to see what would happen, but they remained passive. This kid felt so foolish and stupid throwing temper tantrums with no audience—that I never threw another one.

The next time your toddler goes a little crazy—you might try doing nothing. It worked in at least one case with which I am quite familiar.

http://www2.focusonthefamily.com/docstudy/newsletters/A000000814.cfm

So I'll try more deliberately to ignore the next episode. Keep you posted...

2 comments:

Monday through Sunday said...

How did it go?

S is going through a bit of a "see how far I can go" season.

Randi Jo :) said...

Ya know what - praise God this week has been so much better. I definitely a lot of our problem last week was that Raymond was sick so we didn't get out at all -- it's hard to be inside all day all week!!!!! especially for us, we're such outsdie people!!!

He is so much better this week and I think it's a combination of my discipline strategies finally sinking in to him that mommy is boss. Time out works incredibly well and just leaving him alone with his blankie is a great thing for both of us.

Last week I had just had enough, I was raising my voice and getting frustrated with him and I realized that I was teaching him through those actions to do exactly opposite of what I wanted him to do. He was throwing tantrums and losing control of himself so I would lose control --- so it was just a bad cycle.

This week I have been praying every morning about it and spending a lot of time in the Word to help the Spirit help me control my flesh and it's amazing how different it's been this week.

I can't lose my temper whatsoever or he is 'winning' and I am teaching opposite of what I want.

so being free from myself and being controlled by the Spirit is the best thing for he and I both....

God is awesome! :)

thanks melanie!