Since I started writing down my thoughts / questions / praise reports to God --- it's amazing to me how much more I recognize His teachings now. The topic I've been writing about the most recently is parenting. Just this morning I presented this topic and some specifics on it to God and asked for peace, guidance, some direction & comfort.... and as always He gave it.
Does the fact that He answers your concerns & questions so quickly ever just make you cry? He literally makes my heart melt. I will never understand why He cares so much to care about the details in my life. He continues to show me He REALLY cares. It just overwhelms me. The only way I can describe it is that it just melts my heart. Makes me goo-ey inside.
I love how God continues to use my Bible reading, my bloggie friends and whatever book I'm reading.... all to teach me. He aligns all of the teaching so well. The rhythm of my life and the lessons in each part of my day are just awesome right now. Every where I turn... there He is!!! I'm hungry for Him - you're right Melanie and He is satisfying me!
I'm reading, A Woman After God's Own Heart. I started reading it for some inspiration in my role as wife & mom. I was feeling well....... I was just feeling basically like a failure. Like I just wasn't doing good enough at all.
Last night.... this jumped out at me:
Give to your children expecting nothing in return. We don't give motherly love in order to receive praise, thanks, recognition or good behavior. We give our love in a myriad of practical forms simply because that's [the calling]. Life at home is the first place to live out the Word and first place to learn to be christlike. We love with no options, no conditions, no exceptions and no fine print. It's God's clear command - for us to love each other.
okay God I hear you. I've been discouraged because I've been evaluating my worth as a mom and wife by validation from others. When I don't get some validation/affirmation/confirmation even of what I'm doing then I take that as a judge of my impact or 'success' in this role. I am looking for praise, looking to please others not you. I hear you. I should be dependent on YOU for my feedback and guidance and affirmation of direction. My calling is to love.
Then I woke up and read this blog from Pastor Pete. http://withoutwax.tv/2008/10/06/desiring-to-be-loved-or-seeking-to-love/#comments uhh woah. Is that just TOTALLY crazy!? It's exactly the same thing He's been teaching me! It's like Pastor Pete knew what I was going through - but I know He has no clue. God is just SOO awesome like that. He uses anybody/anything to teach us!
These posts / topics are directly relate to Pastor Kellky's series on idols:
and what I commented on pastor pete's blog entry on envy:
and my little 'series' on value:
I was just giddy with how much He was pouring into me and talking to me. Maybe I'm the only one who seeds how perfectly all these lessons flow....... BUT next I was just beyond myself when I clicked on Kathy Escobar's blog from TODAY and found this:
WOAH!!! hahaha no way God. You are SOO cool! THANK YOU. This entry was all about parenting and helping me realize that it's going to be okay. It really is.
In the past few days He has shown me my areas of weakness. (looking for validation from others not Him....making idols out of my loved ones - by putting their praise or lack of praise higher on my priority list than God's opinion of me)......
He has reminded me for the UMPteenth time to focus on Him, to care what He thinks, to find my value in Him and Him alone.....
and He has given me specific answers to my questions on direction.
You are my priority God. I will love "just" to love not for any reason but just because of you. because you fill me with so much it's overflowing... it pours out on those around me with so much left over for me. I will not judge my value on what others do or do not say or appreciate.
Thanks so much for speaking through so many different voices to comfort me. To encourage me. To challenge me. To direct me.
I am loved by the King - and it makes my heart want to sing!